[closed] with natto........ 2!!!

[ohthehumanities]

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[ohthehumanities]

[DO NOT HE WILL WITHER AND DIE]

I will not! I only forget them because you have them half the time anyway! [TAKE THAT] And that's besides the point! A lack of power to hinder our progress in the future doesn't undo all the times you've gotten in our way over the past few weeks. You probably accepted the position just so you could do precisely that and only belatedly realized the work doesn't suit you.

[Kaveh's 500 wild conspiracies... ALSO DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON HIM, says Kaveh, even though Kaveh is the one following this subject change anyway]

[diffract]

[ where is the sumeru equivalent of valium... where's baizhu when you need him ]

Calm down. [ the exact opposite of the thing you say to someone you want to calm down. ]

The remaining Sages and staff insisted that I take the position several times. I only accepted because I was tired of hearing about it.

[ohthehumanities]

[He does not calm down and in fact bristles all over again]

I am calm! [IS HE CALM? Well he's not shouting so there's that] And if they did do that, which I doubt, it's only because they don't spend any time with you. And it doesn't change the fact that you rejected our proposals!

[diffract]

[ kaveh has a big storm coming when he hears that it's canon

haitham crosses his arms and shuts his eyes. he's never let kaveh's retorts go more than skin-deep, but if he's going to breach the terms of his NDA, he should be careful with his words. ]

Do you remember what I told you after you came back from the desert?

[ seemingly unrelated. also, he said a lot when kaveh came back from the desert. this could be about anything. ]

[ohthehumanities]

[Listen. he signed up for this life, but he doesn't think anyone else is crazy enough to do that? It's as much a roast of himself as it is Alhaitham.]

What does that have to do with anything? [Warily...] Which part?

[diffract]

What did I say after you had a conniption over the Sages disappearing?

[ it was after the traveler started eavesdropping on their conversation, he remembers. he'll remind kaveh if he doesn't remember, if in a roundabout way. ]

[ohthehumanities]

I had no such thing!!

[This is why he doesn't believe Alhaitham bought him a Valentine's present of his own accord]

[diffract]

Do you remember or not?

[ohthehumanities]

I don't know, you said a lot of things! Do you mean the part where you told me to move out of your house, or the part where you said I've never done anything valuable for society? Which is rich coming from a Haravatat, I might add.

[diffract]

[ he can't blame kaveh for only remembering the shitty things he said. they were actually pretty shitty. somehow, kaveh accepted him anyway. this is why he has this gift, among other reasons. ]

It's not either of those. It was about the next potential Sages. They culled the list of candidates this past week, and the remaining candidates are currently under final review. They're close to reaching a consensus.

[ohthehumanities]

[(heartslogos!kaveh voice) Have you ever considered that I'm displeased with the things you say because they are displeasing things to hear

Alhaitham can, at least, rest assured that Kaveh doesn't sound particularly bothered by recounting the conversation--no more bothered than usual, anyway. If he'd taken any of it to heart, Alhaitham would have known it. Kaveh has never hesitated to let Alhaitham know when he's gone too far, and that hasn't changed.

He frowns, eying Alhaitham.]

And? What's your point?

[diffract]

[ he closes his eyes, crosses his arms, and sighs through his nose. kaveh you're killing him... ]

I mentioned how the Sages from our respective Darshans were among those who were dismissed. I think you know where I'm going with this, O Light of Kshahrewar.

[ohthehumanities]

[




...okay well maybe does see where this is going but what if he wants to hear Alhaitham say it]

What, the eloquent scribe can't use his words?

[diffract]

[ you know what ]

Nevermind. Regardless, I won't be handling the budgets anymore. You can appeal to whoever gets appointed next.

[ohthehumanities]

[TCH... and Alhaitham has the audacity to be offended that Kaveh doesn't believe he can do a romance]

Typical.

[WHATEVER... he's used to this, so he just tries to tug his hand--and his present--away from Alhaitham again.]

Can I open this or not?

[diffract]

[ nope. alhaitham holds onto it. it's like trying to pull open a push door. ]

Not so fast. You brought up our conversation about the role of commercial exchange in the production of art. Somehow that has bearing on whether or not I would get you a gift today. Let's clear that up first.

[ let's not, actually. ]

[ohthehumanities]

[BINCH GIVE HIM HIS BOX]

Your stubborn pedantry is doing a better job of convincing me than anything else you've said thus far.

[He would believe that the true gift is a debate about the commercialization of holidays tbh. (And like--honestly, he would complain, but it wouldn't even be a bad one. For all that he fundamnetally disagrees with Alhaitham on basically everything, he's not immune to the rush of their spirited intellectual exchanges. They're half the reason the two of them have made it to where they are today, after all.)]

Fine. I believe I've already made my point clear, but I'll say it again: It's highly implausible, if not unbelievable, that you would go out of your way to get me a gift for a holiday that represents the exact opposite of everything you stand for. Ergo, the most logical version of events is that Nilou, a dear friend with, quite frankly, much higher emotional intelligence than either of us, talked you into it. I'll even let you take it a step further: You can consider my initial hypothesis discarded, as I doubt Nilou would do all of this if the only thing inside this box is a bar tab, or some other such form of ridicule.

1/2

[diffract]

[ just this face while he talks ]

[diffract]

[ thank god THAT'S over. ]

Enlighten me. What exactly about this holiday runs antithetical to 'everything I stand for?'

[ohthehumanities]

Why are you asking me questions you already know the answer to? Or do you truly not listen to yourself? I wouldn't, if I were you. [stop] You're the one who believes that art and beauty are useless without commercial value. You make no secret of how you function purely on fact and logic--in fact, I'm positive that the closest link between you and the concept of romance is your photograph next to the word "antonym" beneath its definition in the dictionary. Stop acting like I'm speaking in tongues when it's hardly a leap to say that a holiday that's the intersection of art and romance is the furthest thing from your interests.

[This is gonna be so embarrassing in like 5 minutes when he finally opens this present

Which he finally lets go of, actually, putting his hand on his hip with a sigh.]

I don't even understand why you seem so offended. You act like I don't know what I was agreeing to. My feelings aren't so delicate that I'd be upset if you behaved exactly as I'd expect you to. [Aren't they though...]

[diffract]

It's fascinating how you speak so confidently when you completely misconstrued what I said back then. Or maybe you misremembered it. Allow me to remind you.

[ he leans on one leg and closes his eyes. lecturing. ]

I said that the day when the value of an art piece has been exploited is the day it loses its reason for existence. At no point did I say that art is useless without being commercialized. In fact, I'd say it's the opposite of what I was trying to get across: art has value, and once that value is depleted, it becomes that fallen fruit that provides nourishment for the future.

[ he opens his eyes. there. ]

You, on the other hand, disliked that I compared it to something produced for consumption, which hardly makes sense. There's always a reason why something is produced—something to be benefitted from or commercially exchanged—and once that reason no longer applies, it loses its reason to exist. Make sense?

[ohthehumanities]

[HE JUST

GESTURES WILDLY WITH HIS HANDS]

You see? This! This is the opposite of romance! You're proving my point right now!

[diffract]

I gave you a gift and you immediately listed off reasons for why I couldn't be sincere about it. And you're lecturing me about romance?

[ohthehumanities]

Technically, you haven't given me anything but a headache.

[Maybe if Alhaitham hadn't started this by texting him with "come get this garbage off my doorstep" he would've believed it more readily? We'll just never know now]

[diffract]

That makes two of us then.

[ it's a struggle enough for alhaitham to admit to his own arguably squishy feelings towards kaveh. they still haven't completely smoothed out the kinks in their relationship—i.e. mastering how to put their egos aside for one minute for the sake of the other person. they keep doing things like this instead, where kaveh is bristled like a cactus and alhaitham is ready to call all of this off. gift or not, it's too much effort.

almost. when he and kaveh said they would try this, it meant that alhaitham would try to be more open and forgiving and do things that might require effort. like buying a valentine's day gift. like giving it to kaveh no matter how incredulous he is.

haitham sighs deeply, letting his breath filter completely from his chest. he looks away, though he's trying to be calmer. ]

I didn't buy this for you out of some sudden acknowledgment of what day it is. Like I said, I've never bothered to celebrate it before. I had no reason to.

[ he looks back at kaveh intently. ]

You're right about one thing. Art and romance are the cornerstones of this holiday. Because of the way you are, I knew it would mean something to you. That's all I was thinking about when I got you this. It didn't matter what my feelings were about today.