[ that's another way to read it—that by "handling these waters," childe would be the one to escort him back to the marina. zhongli's smile raises on both corners of his mouth before it gently, naturally fades.
childe is quiet for a moment then, surveying him. zhongli waits for him, almost prompted to speak up first before he's asked his question. zhongli considers it too, drawing in a deep breath. ]
It's true that the smell of the sea rouses memories that I'd rather forget. Fortunately it's not unbearable.
[ so many evil little squids. so many houses. that terrible smell. childe already knows his pest extermination story, though he's slowly been exposing himself to seafood again through walks in the harbor. (it was strange to passers-by when he would walk large circles around the seafood vendors.) ]
But no, I'm not uncomfortable. Even the ocean rests on a bed of sediments.
[ don't try anything though, childe.
he pauses another moment, briefly weighing the consequences of being honest. when childe watches his eyes this way, it's difficult not to be. ]
Degui asked after you during your venture to Inazuma. [ he turns his eyes back to liyue. ] We'll have to pay him a visit once this charade ends.
[ he's met with old friends after long stretches of time before. what made the distance between himself and childe feel so endless then, when he was away? ]
--No, okay, he's grinning, humor clear in his tone. His smile widens as he, too, thinks of Zhongli's pained explanation of his aversion to the sea, but he doesn't do anything mischievous, tempting as it is. Instead, he moves over to hop up and sit on the railing of the ship, turning his back to the sea in favor of facing Zhongli.
Perhaps it's a poor move; this way, it's impossible to hide his surprise at the idea of anyone asking after him with anything less than contempt (except perhaps the children, but he's tried not to think too hard about them).
His surprise is brief, though, and he laughs softly, turning his face towards the breeze.]
That old swindler's ledgers must've finally hit red, then. [He sounds fond, though. Liyue was never home, per se, but he can't pretend like he hadn't found himself settled and comfortable. If the nostalgia in his own voice is so clear to him, there's no way that Zhongli won't be able to hear it, he thinks--but he finds he doesn't mind. Zhongli already knows he likes Liyue, that his actions were never personal; indeed, he's perhaps the only person who might care. Ironic, that.
He hadn't been lying when he'd told the Traveler he didn't like falling back on Plan B--it was simply that his preferences were ultimately irrelevant.
(He'd wondered, once, if Zhongli had had another plan in mind, had Childe chosen not to go through with it. But it was a thought quickly discarded. There was never any chance that Childe wouldn't follow through, after all.)
Across the ship, the captain of the Crux lets out a loud, hearty laugh. Absently, Childe lifts a hand, rubbing at his chest.]
We'll have to stop by the teahouse as well. I must be dreadfully behind on all the stories now.
[ briefly, zhongli's smile widens and his eyelids fall shut. ]
It's tempting.
[ (some parts of childe were easy to parse at first glance for someone who's been around as long as zhongli has. that's all he'll say about Plan B's.)
zhongli is unflinching as childe slides onto the railing beside him. if he wants to risk falling backwards into the water, zhongli wouldn't stop him. he has a hydro vision, as he said. sneznhayan waters and all of that. how he would escape crashing against the hull of the ocean's pearl would be his problem.
the same way he might have been watched before, zhongli bears witness to the tossing of childe's head in the sea-breeze, the open-mouthed laugh, the slope of his neck. something is different, he thinks again, and yet as the momentum of their conversation builds, it's starting to feel like every other time they've spoken. at the very least, this was something he wanted.
and judging by that warmth and fondness in childe's voice, which only zhongli could place, he would wager that childe felt the same in some respect. at least he missed liyue, if not zhongli himself...
anyway. ]
I'll share a synopsis of what you've missed when we're seated.
[ he gestures to the small tables laid about one side of the deck. ]
In exchange, you'll tell me of your exploits in Inazuma... and perhaps any conduct I'm to be performing while we're here. The instructions on your letter were lacking. I assume my presence here is enough.
[Fortunately, albeit obnoxiously, Childe's arrogance is rarely unfounded. That holds true here, too; the children of Morepesok learn how to walk on fishing vessels, and Childe was no different. Between that and his Vision, he's in no danger of toppling overboard.]
You say that, but I don't believe you've ever caused trouble in your life.
[This is such a blatant lie that it's obviously a joke, but he punctuates it with a glance back and a wink for good measure.
It's a gesture that probably makes it a little funny, then, when Zhongli's words cause him to falter, smile slipping briefly. It's hardly enough for anyone to notice, but there nonetheless. (And Zhongli isn't just anyone, is he?)
Right... his letter. The entire farce they're performing, here, because he's supposed to be working, not indulging in fantasies of friendship with a god.
It's not a half-bad plan, really. They're hardly the first people to pose as a couple for some reason or another. But in truth, Childe knows it was little more than his own version of petty revenge, a poor substitute for the clashing of blades. Something embarrassing but ultimately harmless, to cover up a hurt he'd really had no real right to feel.
Madame Élodie is a dedicated romantic, his informants had told him, and it had been so easy to craft the lie after that. And maybe he'd spent much of the voyage back to Liyue wondering what sort of expression Zhongli might wear, when he learns what Childe truly roped him into. Irritation? Exasperation? Embarrassment? He's not sure Zhongli even knows how to blush.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is probably going to be etched onto his tombstone, isn't it?
But Childe is nothing if not adaptable, and he doesn't often make decisions that he doesn't intend to follow through with. So he rallies, even though he's suddenly acutely aware of how childish this whole plan is.
Ah, well. There's nothing to be done for it now.]
Let's work backwards on all of that, shall we? [The walls have ears, even on the open water. Better to discuss this here, away from everyone else. For that same reason, he lifts a hand from the railing he's sitting on and beckons Zhongli closer; when he can, he leans forward, until he's close to Zhongli's ear. He lowers his voice, hiding his mouth with his hand. To anyone observing, it probably just looks like he's making sure his words aren't lost to the waves.]
You see, our esteemed guests are under the impression that we are, ah. Close. [A date, he'd insisted, and it hadn't been a lie. But just in case it needs clarifying--] They've been told we're lovers.
[He can't actually see Zhongli's expression from this angle. Foolish.]
[ charming. zhongli shakes his head at the wink, but he's still smiling. crashing a dragon skin into the middle of a festival isn't troublesome at all. for sure!
the mood takes on a strange air after zhongli makes his request, with childe's familiar smile suddenly dropping out. zhongli looks otherwise unaffected, arms crossed as he's watches childe with undivided attention. he can already see his response brewing just from his expression. he swears to himself that he can almost see him break into a sweat...
childe waves him closer. furrowing his brow, zhongli obliges, leaning to offer his ear as childe leans down to whisper.
you're kidding. zhongli's eyes go wide, his brow creasing deeper. zhongli doesn't emote much as is, so even this is a feat. unfortunately he won't blush; he's played the part of a lover before, but why here and now? and with childe?
he turns to look at childe incredulously, obviously confused. lovers? not even just dates? he's moving that fast?? he turns back to the ocean, facing the sea and keeping his mouth out of sight from the party guests. ]
So you've taken pains to inform the guests before the 'lover' in question. You assumed that I would play along.
[ accusingly. the pressure is on, although zhongli can just throw this plan out the window if he really wanted to. (does he? who knows. childe seems all right with it, though.) ]
I'm curious to hear what brought this on. This was your idea?
Ah, but I did make sure you knew this was a date, didn't I?
[It's not at all within the spirit of the law, so to speak, but Childe just can't help himself. He might, in fact, be physically incapable of helping himself.
He lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug.]
It's not an unusual operation, though it's typically outside my wheelhouse. I assessed the situation and decided this was the best course of action. [Just. Not necessarily the best course of action in terms of the actual assignment. But that's not Zhongli's business.]
Anyway, I'd say it's the least you can do to make up for throwing me under the cart, Morax.
[A subtle sharpness to his voice, then, the briefest glint of a hidden blade. Everything is a fight, after all, especially when it's not.
"You assumed I'd play along" Zhongli says, and.]
So? Will you?
[Because that's the thing, isn't it? A brief letter of invitation is hardly a formal contract. Zhongli really is free to embarrass him if he wants to. It would be his word against Childe's, and that's one battle Childe could never hope to win. He could say he's trusting that Zhongli won't risk the spectacle, but--honestly, Zhongli's right. He had just... kind of assumed his whims would be indulged.
Schemes really aren't his strong suit, are they. It's a good thing he's fine with that, or else he'd be a lot more miserable.]
[ meaning he did not do that at all, aside from (what zhongli thought was) joking about it.
zhongli narrows his eyes again at the implication that this was apparently the best and appropriate course to take in the moment, but he has no reason to think otherwise. something prompted childe to choose this in particular—whether that was to curry favor from the other guests or for his own enjoyment is dubious.
until childe implies that this is for some kind of revenge, anyway. zhongli can hear that rasp of the blade that childe wears as his tongue. from a distance, childe might look his usual self, but up close, the trained eye can see that latent, power-hungry animosity brewing under the surface: childe's smile seems toothier, the shine in his eyes dulled down beneath his lashes, everything else on the periphery fading to black.
it's not apparent now, though. at least childe opted to try to embarrass him or make him endure this farce as revenge rather than force them into combat while they're out at sea. but was this as unbearable as childe thought it might be?
zhongli is quiet, turning over the situation in his mind as he studies childe beside him. he could say "no" and end it here. he could also say "yes"—and then what? endanger their friendship? why was he even considering it? to throw childe off, or something else?
finally, he says: ]
We hadn't negotiated any terms when I accepted your invitation. The fault lies with me.
[ the letter isn't a formal contract, true, but he did accept what it offered him. that's the excuse he'll use. ]
I've played many parts before. 'The Lover' isn't one of them. I'll be following your lead, if that satisfies you.
Well, perhaps I should've been better instructed on the art of Liyuen communication.
[This is another dig at Zhongli not telling him about the plan. You know. In case that wasn't abundantly clear already.
And hey, maybe he will force Zhongli into combat at sea! Maybe that's his true master plan all along!!! (It is not. But it would be funny if it was.)
That sharpness is gone as quickly as it comes, though, and there's no animosity on his face when he pulls back out of Zhongli's personal space. Ever-changing and unpredictable as always; it would probably be easier to figure out how he actually feels about all this if Childe himself knew how he felt about it. But that's a conversation for another time and place.]
Innamorati, [He mutters under his breath; a private joke that he apparently isn't inclined to explain. Finally, he hops back down from the railing, raising an eyebrow.]
Surely you don't need that much guidance, do you? You can't really expect me to believe you've never had a partner.
[He's seen those statues? He's heard the stories of Zhongli at the height of his power? More importantly, he knows what Zhongli is like right now? Even Childe couldn't resist Zhongli's pull, though it's hardly a romantic thing. Probably.
(Local unhinged warrior is a mildly obsessed simp and has not yet realized it, news at 11.)]
[ 🙄 what a baby. zhongli just lets it go for now. also, having a battle with a hydro user in the middle of the ocean is unfair hello! childe wouldn't want that if he wants a fair fight, right? (it would be funny but zhongli would def point this out and ruin the fun.)
zhongli hadn't taken into account just how long childe had kept himself leaned in, with the two of them murmuring surreptitiously. that warm breath at his ear and neck are suddenly gone, and zhongli can feel its absence, cool where it once was.
but anyway. that doesn't mean anything. (or it does. zhongli is slowly starting to put it together.)
childe slips down and zhongli turns to meet him, arms still crossed. there are still questions to be asked on his end as well, most of which will probably come later. he turns his gaze to the floor, carefully crafting his words. ]
You may have heard of Guili Assembly. Their goddess was named Guizhong. ...She was closer to being my partner than anyone else in my lifetime.
[ was it romantic? probably in a sense. were they gods who went through the normal dating process? no way.
looking back to childe. ]
I'm not sure why it would be hard to believe that I've never had a romantic relationship before. [ archons are pretty busy. ] And yourself?
[ANYWAY. Who cares about that when Zhongli is here saying absurd things like "why is it hard to believe I've supposedly never been in romantic relationship"? And Looking at him with those Eyes? For a ridiculous moment, Childe's very suddenly, acutely conscious of how nice Zhongli looks in this outfit, and he opens his mouth to shake off the distraction before he decides what he wants to say.]
Well, because-- [...Just, because. Because!! What's he supposed to do, explain? Out loud? Absolutely not.
He waves a hand impatiently.] Never mind. To answer your question--hah. I joined the Fatui when I was fourteen.
[So, no, obviously not. But it makes a lot more sense for him, surely? He barely even has friends.
With a sigh, he rests a hand on his hip, studying the man across from him. This is what he gets for trying to scheme, instead of just marching into the funeral parlor and demanding Zhongli's hand in combat. Maybe if he'd been very persuasive...
--Right. Work. Focus.]
Look, you needn't worry. You know how to put on a show, and I know what I'm doing. [DOES HE??] I don't think anyone would expect any overly affectionate displays from you, so you'll just have to tolerate me a little more than usual.
[LOCAL MAN FULL OF MISPLACED CONFIDENCE, SEVERELY UNDERESTIMATES WHAT HE IS GETTING INTO, NEWS AT 12]
[ it's childe's turn now to be flustered—both by guizhong's mention and zhongli's question. judging by that sudden stumbling of words where someone as cunning as childe wouldn't usually falter, there's something embarrassing or difficult to parse in that answer he never gives.
the idea that zhongli had given some false impression that he's dated around is out of the question. perhaps there were rumors, some misguided piece of literature—something childe had gotten ahold of in his wide network of associates. if it wasn't any of that, zhongli could only guess it was one other thing. (gayness.)
the subject is quickly changed. zhongli doesn't chase it, only watching childe inquisitively—a sign that he would remember this, as he does with all other things. this may not be the last time they hear of it.
zhongli smiles a little. good luck childe!! ]
Mm. It's admirable, how you speak so confidently with little experience. Or any, in fact.
[ zhongli isn't a whole lot more experienced than him, but at least he's had several hundred years' worth of watching mortals come together and fall in love. the zhongli of this era might have also had a hand in some of these relationships—the delivery of letters and flowers and trinkets, the payment of debts from a spouse wrought with illness.
but seeing is a far cry from doing. how would it be, pretending to be in love with childe, accepting his (false) affections? zhongli takes him in again—blue and white and orange, eyes shining bright. his chest clenches again, unbidden. one thought remains—there had to be another way of doing this. childe chose this instead, knowing what they would have to do. how far would they go to keep up the charade, and would they be convincing at all? it was all yet to be seen. ]
I'll be patient. [ he always is. but that also depends on what childe tries to do. ] I'll admit I'm interested in seeing how you approach this plan of yours. Are you trying to convince someone in particular? The ambassador from Fontaine, perhaps?
Childe makes a face, because Zhongli is so obviously making fun of him, like a butthead. "Admirable" his ass... this is the same damn vibe Zhongli has when he's letting Childe suffer stubbornly through chopsticks because he "needs to practice or he'll never truly appreciate Liyue cuisine"...]
Ah, xiansheng, there's a lot of overlap between intimacy and relationships for us mortals, you know? No need to make me sound completely inept.
["I've never actually dated anyone" is not the same thing as "I have no experience whatsoever"--but he grins, then, a touch rueful.] Anyway, I've had good role models. I know what love looks like.
[His parents are just as in love these days as they've always been, after all, and Childe wasn't always the way he is today. Zhongli doesn't know that, and probably never will, but no matter. Hell, maybe it's even for the best if Zhongli underestimates him--it would be a lie to say the thought of actually flustering Zhongli, for once, isn't a little intoxicating. Surely this is a normal thing to think about a person you are platonically obsessed with.
(Seeing is a far cry from doing, that's true--but Childe does seem to genuinely believe what he's saying. This will make it extra ironic when they actually have to start up this charade and Childe realizes he is not, in fact, prepared for any of this whatsoever.)
More importantly, he nods.]
Mm, that's the one. Normally I'd ask Katya to deal with something like this, but she's got her hands full with other things. [And, as he'd more-or-less said, Zhongli kind of owes him. So.] The madame is a notorious romantic with excellent connections to the Lazurite trade. She's been known oversee lavish custom orders for noble families all over Teyvat.
[It's not really about the jewels, of course. It's about establishing overt, legitimate connections, an in-route and a cover for their less than ethical activities elsewhere in the region. But it would be stupid to say that out loud, and Zhongli probably already knows it anyway.]
hopefully you've been practicing your chopsticks so you can eat properly in front of the madame, childe ☺️
anyway. childe knew this already: anything that crossed a sailor's mouth was passed onward to its crew, the vendors, their customers, the officials—would quickly be brought to zhongli's attention one way or another. he had heard the news from ningguang herself after a summons to the jade chamber to discuss it, among other topics relating to the transition of adeptal responsibilities to their mortal counterparts. he was likely one of the first to know, and the timing of childe's invitation was just unfortunate.
in terms of intimacy, there had been some mortals and other beings vying for his attention—most for the affections and accolades that come with being the lover of the great geo archon; others as a genuine consequence of rex lapis's compassion and service to his people; and others still whose religious affiliations had bled into their hearts, parasocial in nature, praying for his living presence to descend. all archons had to deal with something like this. zhongli would never fraternize with mortals in this way, but it would be reconsidered for adeptal beings.
zhongli still had never been with more than a handful of them. most were put off by the idea of negotiating a contract before getting to bed.
several points of their conversation catch his interest, yet one thing supersedes those topics all at once. he stares, processing the thought; even childe's explanation regarding the fontaine official comes out of focus, as if heard underwater. so zhongli had been a substitute, already conveniently situated in liyue. it all makes more sense now.
it shouldn't bother him. whatever brief flash of shock he had felt, only shown in the subtle widening of eyes and lifting of brows, gets quickly withdrawn. a part of him wants to go back on his word, say he's suddenly decided that it isn't worth the colossal effort it would take to execute—yet not only would it rouse suspicion, it would also be a breach of his morals. he gave his word and that was it.
he looks back toward the party, for no reason other than to look at it. really. ]
I see. [ disappointment? never heard of her ] And so you were hoping to gain access to her network.
[ he's still murmuring, keeping the conversation to themselves. he sees the fontaine's madame now, garishly dressed, wearing stones of every kind, throwing her head back as she laughs too loudly. zhongli was averse to these kinds of people, but he knew how to speak with them if he had to. he's not doing the heavy lifting here anyway.
he lets his arms fall to his sides and takes a slow step away from the banister, still keeping his gaze away from childe, whether he notices or not. ]
I've had enough. Let's join the other guests. [ not that he's giving childe a real choice about it. ] You can tell me of your 'role models' in the meantime. I don't imagine that they're members of the Fatui.
Well shit now he feels a tiny bit bad and he doesn't even really know why. DAMN IT ZHONGLI. THIS IS HIS PETTY REVENGE, DON'T MAKE HIM FEEL IMMATURE EVEN THOUGH HE IS DEFINITELY BEING IMMATURE.
Perhaps if either of them stopped to think about it for more than 5 seconds, they would realize that no, actually, Zhongli is not anywhere near the most convenient choice--but Childe certainly isn't going to do that, because untangling his Zhongli emotions is not on his to-do list at this time.
Instead, he sighs, as if to clear away the offer for an out resting on the tip of his tongue. It's too late now, unless he were to throw the entire mission for the sake of--what, a shred of honor? The memory of a friendship that wasn't wholly genuine on either side? No.
Zhongli says he's had enough, so... showtime, it seems. Gods. Maybe Zhongli just thinks he's going to take the chance to be over-the-top embarrassing, which would be funny but ultimately detrimental to his goals. Once they're in it, they'll probably be fine. Right? Right.]
Let's go, then. [Moving forward, and reaching out!! If Zhongli doesn't stop him, then he'll seize one of Zhongli's hands and lace their fingers together.] I suppose I really haven't told you much about my parents, have I?
[So, no, not Fatui at all. Even though Childe will definitely gossip about Vlad and Nadia at some point during the evening, because he is a good boss who pays attention to his agents even if he doesn't let them meet 90% of the time.
[ maybe if they stopped they would!! but childe certainly wouldn't, and zhongli is seconds away from adjourning his opinion on this whole thing. if it's a charade, it's only a charade. if zhongli is a puppet, he would play his part. both of them can just be blithely oblivious clowns.
but he also hadn't thought about this part—when childe suddenly catches his hand and weaves their fingers together, firmly grasping the row of his knuckles. zhongli slows with surprise the moment it happens, looking at their joined hands and then at childe as he matches his stride. his fingers are loose, but childe still holds them.
it's part of the act, he tells himself. it's a small gesture done even by children, by elders and their progeny, by close friends keeping a secret or giving comfort. it means nothing, yet there's a flurry of feeling when it happens, warm and cottony in his chest. nothing has ever felt like that before.
he catches himself before he stares for too long. he brings himself out of his thoughts and feelings, closing his finger's over childe's hand and continuing to walk them into the party, ignoring the little feelings sparking in his chest like striking matches. anyway. anyway!
"my parents." so that's where he learned about love. there's a little comfort in knowing childe would talk about something very personal to him. he looked forward to those conversations the most.
a smile eases on his lips, whether he likes it or not. ]
You've spoken of them in relation to your siblings. I haven't heard much else.
[ their spectacle does draw the eye of passersby, and they earn a mixture of concerned and pleasant looks. zhongli leads them into the fray, paying no mind. ]
[ the gestures come in small doses: the hand in his, an arm about his waist, the gentle knocking of shoulders. zhongli is made conscious of every movement towards him, closing the gap that had always been so well-defined.
did zhongli really mind any of this? the feelings came and went like smoke, still a mystery to him, but it wasn't unbearable. any conversations they held with other guests seemed innocuous enough, with any comments about their 'relationship' being answered by childe—sometimes with a bald-faced lie, other times drawing from their authentic friendship. childe remembered things that zhongli never guessed he would.
zhongli can't help considering it, inciting sharp tugs beneath his ribs. once, childe lays his hand over his fist on the table, and he considers turning his hand over to take it in his grasp. he has to put on a show, doesn't he?
as they finish their orders, the guest of honor moves between guests like a spinning dancer—in fact, she's quite near their table as they stack their plates and push them aside. he leans in to murmur near his companion's shoulder. ]
Would you like to speak with her? I can introduce you.
[Here's the thing--Childe doesn't... touch people.
It's not because he doesn't want to, really. In fact, he's happily tactile under certain circumstances. He'll carry a child on his shoulders with no hesitation, and he claps his agents on the shoulder every now and then, mostly because he finds their reactions entertaining. But for the most part, it's a simple fact of Childe's life that if someone is in his personal space, they're probably trying to kill him. He's spent too long wearing hypervigilance as a second skin to permit anyone, even people like Xiangling or Hu Tao (or Zhongli, for that matter, back then) into his space easily.
To say nothing of intimate touch, though perhaps that's an overdramatic description for what they're doing. Holding hands, leaning close, all simple gestures that normal people do with their partners. Things that, Childe figured, would be easy enough to initiate. He hadn't been lying when he'd oh-so confidently declared that he knew what love looked like, and the sweet stories of his parents that he shares with Zhongli as they wander are entirely truthful. On top of all of that, he does enjoy a good performance--especially a harmless one that he knows he's putting on from the beginning. They were close enough, once, that faking a deeper relationship was supposed to be easy. It should've been fine.
Immediately, it is not fine.
Zhongli isn't the only one who falters when their fingers tangle, which is... unexpected, for one thing. A little embarrassing, for another. It's just handholding. They're both wearing gloves!!! It makes absolutely no sense for him to be suddenly, acutely aware of Zhongli's proximity. He's always admired Zhongli's hands, sure, but that's no reason that finally (finally?) touching one should stir up weird sensations in his chest. What--is he getting embarrassed now? About his own plan? That would be ridiculous.]
Well--[What was he saying? Oh, yes. His parents.]--I hope you don't mind if I'm the one talking your ear off for a change, then.
[Right. Focus. Easy. It'll just take a minute to get used to their roles, that's all. Shake it off, Tartaglia. It'll get easier.]
Somehow, it gets harder. The wandering, the chatting--that's all fine, normal. They'd spend so many evenings doing precisely this when he'd been stationed in Liyue, and Childe's always found it dangerously easy to fall into Zhongli's orbit. Zhongli is just... magnetic. And no matter how human he tries to appear, Childe doesn't think he'll ever be able to rid himself of that quietly powerful aura. It's impossible to miss now that he knows what to look for, and for someone like Childe, there's little else more enticing. It makes it terribly easy to want to stay near him, to talk, to listen. That isn't the hard part.
No, the hard part is this: the fact that Childe is indisputably, irrevocably in over his head, and there's nothing he can do about it now.
The first incident, he'd written off as pre-performance nerves. But that excuse had fallen apart so quickly. Every time he'd felt his face heat up whenever he'd realized, abruptly, how close they were. Every time he'd had to steel himself to touch Zhongli like a lover would, no matter how simple or chaste the gesture. Every time his breath caught when he'd glanced over, just in time to see the light catch Zhongli's eyes just so.
The odd sensations in his chest aren't nerves, or embarrassment. Not really. It hadn't taken him long to realize that, and then... well. Childe's inexperienced, sure, but he's not oblivious, and he's not the type to avoid acknowledging the obvious either.
(Though... it's a little strange. Sure, he's never had these feelings himself until now, but... are they supposed to be quite this sharp? This kind of relentless pull? It's a lot like fighting their Anemoboxers, actually--but that's not romantic, so no wonder nobody's described it like that in stories. Hunh.)
But they've already committed to this. They locked themselves in the moment they rejoined the group with their fingers intertwined, in full view of Ningguang and Beidou and everyone else on the ship. They're too far in to abandon the lie for a new strategy. He'll just have to deal with it, and Zhongli can make fun of him in private later.
At least he'd had the foresight to paint them as old friends turned new lovers, a convenient excuse for any awkward stumbles--though it's a double-edged sword, because it means he needs to play the part of someone enamored with a new paramour. They're lucky Zhongli has a reputation as a distinguished gentleman, or else they'd probably have to be even more touchy than they have been so far, and Childe genuinely doesn't know what he'd do then. Perish on the spot, maybe? Imagine having to kiss Zhongli just to sell an act.
--Wait, actually, no. He is not going to imagine that. He does not need to spiral any further than he already has.
Gods. It would be so much easier if he hated this.
The meal is a welcome respite, but it passes too quickly. All too soon, Zhongli is leaning close to him again, and Childe has to curl his fingers into his palms to focus on what he's saying. Fortunately, it works--Childe's too disciplined to let his gaze snap over to her, so he takes a steadying breath before he turns his head to meet Zhongli's eyes. Who'd have ever thought he'd need to brace himself just to look at the man? He's never allowed to have ideas ever again.]
Now's as good a time as any, I think. I'll leave it to you.
[ taking a vested interest in someone's hands should be some sort of sign already, childe.
since he began living his mortal life, zhongli's found agreeable and eager audiences in every corner of his harbor. he knew the names of the merchants, the routes of the ships that sail from her port, the source of every ingredient of every dish he's savored. liyue's residents flocked to him for his facts and stories—whether or not they were true, as historians would argue with him over his uncorroborated accounts and seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of things barely understood.
there were many things that might have pulled the citizenry towards him, attempting to curry favor or argue or simply enjoy his placid company. he knew this logically.
but childe's constant presence in his life was a precious anomaly. he was had and used by one of his own, and his business in liyue seemed to be finished. while childe still bemoaned the situation, he willingly and regularly visited zhongli, far from his home and his missions. invitations for spars aside, childe spoke in bright smiles and animated expressions, conversed with him about history and philosophy, introduced him to things outside of his liyue that an old and mortal ex-god would not be privy to. zhongli was only now beginning to exist in the present. childe was already there, offering his hand, drawing him in like a current.
he was still like this even now. whatever aura surrounded zhongli, childe makes up for it in charm and wit. he never falters in conversation, carefully balancing confidence and humility, sharing a far more human connection than zhongli could ever hope to accomplish. at times he allows childe to hold conversations afloat, watching as the one he's conversing with warms to him like a fire against a bitter cold, no matter their affiliation to and opinion of the fatui. zhongli felt this about him from the moment they met.
zhongli is able to swallow back any rush of blood to his cheeks—he could logic his way through just about anything. and yet, when childe would pull him against his shoulder or his chest, that feeling beneath his ribs would suddenly erupt. it's all he can do to stifle it before childe can notice his ancient heart beating against him, trying to force its way out.
he saw childe's occasional and subtle faltering, only noticeable by somehow who knew him well. at times, there would be a deeper shade of pink on his cheeks, and not simply from the night's sea-breeze and ocean spray. somehow, their eyes always seemed to slip past one another's, never able to catch hold even as zhongli's reach for him. childe wore it differently, but zhongli's seen it enough times to recognize it for what it is. but it couldn't be.
occasionally the sobering fact that he's here as a substitute would crop up (even though it's not a fact you stupid old man) and whisper itself back into existence. his countenance towards childe would briefly ice over, and he would turn his attention back to the other guests. he noticed that he did this. for once, his disappointment couldn't be helped.
he had only one previous point of reference for these feelings. it was enough to be sure of what this all meant.
their night would end. there would need to be a story crafted once the night finally ends and the sun dawns again on liyue harbor. would they meet again after this? would it be the same as before? would he have to mourn their friendship like so many other things on his life?
childe is hesitating before he raises his head to zhongli. he can see it. instead of inviting them away from their table, zhongli keeps still and holds childe's gaze once he has it. in liyue, they never gave looking at the other a second thought, wiling the night away with food and wine and stories and small games. now, even that became a vulnerability, like it might betray too much if the other searched long enough. it was as much childe's doing as it was his own.
childe's suit is still incandescently white. his eyes are so blue. ]
...You seem uneasy.
[ a thought raises to mind. zhongli smiles a little, attempting to assuage the situation. they can get rid of any misconceptions. zhongli can stop thinking that this is more than what it is. (if it's true, what then?) ]
I never would have guessed that this would be what makes you falter. Perhaps your parents' influence wasn't enough after all.
Edited (WAH SORRY!!! LAST TIME!!!) 2022-07-05 15:41 (UTC)
For now, though--Zhongli's words are more sobering than they're probably intended to be, and Childe laughs softly.]
That can't possibly be a revelation, xiansheng. [A quip, lighthearted, skirting around the edges of something too fragile to address directly. He isn't ashamed of the sort of person he is, but it's not like he doesn't know how it makes his family feel, either. There are a thousand reasons he'll lie to Teucer for as long as he possibly can, and that's one of them.
If his parents' influence had been enough for anything, he wouldn't have ever ended up in Liyue in the first place. Funny, that.
Still, it puts him on edge, a little. He really should've expected this, but he's still not used to being so easily seen. It's easy to deal with when nobody's truly looking; apparently, he'd forgotten what it felt like to be the subject of Zhongli's scrutiny.
It's difficult to hold Zhongli's gaze, but it feels a little like a challenge, so he does.]
It's fine. Just--what's that saying you have? 画虎类犬? [He's arrogant, but only because he's always acknowledged his failures and weaknesses, working to overcome them. This is no different. (Just--not in the way he's choosing to frame it.)] I'd only meant to give you a hard time, but it seems like this isn't my wheelhouse after all.
[It's not a lie. It just. Has nothing to do with why he's acting like this.]
[ he's sobered too by that quick laughter and the quip that follows. the mirth slips away from his eyes. it was a crude, almost self-deprecating joke, nowhere near what zhongli was intending. he might have touched upon something too sensitive; with their gazes unbroken, he can see the frost glaze over childe's countenance, verging on something like sadness or maybe bitterness. there's the impulse to apologize, to chase an explanation, but zhongli leaves it alone.
the conversation rolls onward. childe instead admits to his failures, almost effectively shutting down the conversation. zhongli makes a weak attempt to lighten the mood. ]
You were hoping to take revenge in addition to swaying the ambassador in your favor.
[ childe's accomplished this more times than he probably knew. zhongli cooly went along with this plan, knowing that he gave his word and that any resistance would be rebuffed, even when he knew that his feelings had deepened beyond his reach, a leash suddenly let loose.
zhongli gives in. he's the first to look away, watching the ambassador and the rabble surrounding her. ]
It isn't in your wheelhouse to act as if you're lovers with someone? Or to fluster me this way, if that was your goal?
[To the first comment, he just lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug, as good as an agreement. He'd all but said as much from the start, really--you owe me--so even though this plan has backfired spectacularly, it doesn't bother him to acknowledge it.
Zhongli's words do work as a more pleasant distraction, though. When he grins again, it's much closer to his usual, more genuine cheer.]
Ahaha, both, I suppose--but I should've known there was no chance of throwing you off-kilter! If I hadn't seen the way you are around Miss Director, I would've thought you were impossible to ruffle at all.
[That, and he maybe should've stopped to realize that he's a little too obsessed with the idea of breaking Zhongli's composure and getting under his skin, like, before he wrote that stupid invitation later. That might've been helpful.]
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[ that's another way to read it—that by "handling these waters," childe would be the one to escort him back to the marina. zhongli's smile raises on both corners of his mouth before it gently, naturally fades.
childe is quiet for a moment then, surveying him. zhongli waits for him, almost prompted to speak up first before he's asked his question. zhongli considers it too, drawing in a deep breath. ]
It's true that the smell of the sea rouses memories that I'd rather forget. Fortunately it's not unbearable.
[ so many evil little squids. so many houses. that terrible smell. childe already knows his pest extermination story, though he's slowly been exposing himself to seafood again through walks in the harbor. (it was strange to passers-by when he would walk large circles around the seafood vendors.) ]
But no, I'm not uncomfortable. Even the ocean rests on a bed of sediments.
[ don't try anything though, childe.
he pauses another moment, briefly weighing the consequences of being honest. when childe watches his eyes this way, it's difficult not to be. ]
Degui asked after you during your venture to Inazuma. [ he turns his eyes back to liyue. ] We'll have to pay him a visit once this charade ends.
[ he's met with old friends after long stretches of time before. what made the distance between himself and childe feel so endless then, when he was away? ]
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Naturally! I do enjoy making a scene.
[Well...
--No, okay, he's grinning, humor clear in his tone. His smile widens as he, too, thinks of Zhongli's pained explanation of his aversion to the sea, but he doesn't do anything mischievous, tempting as it is. Instead, he moves over to hop up and sit on the railing of the ship, turning his back to the sea in favor of facing Zhongli.
Perhaps it's a poor move; this way, it's impossible to hide his surprise at the idea of anyone asking after him with anything less than contempt (except perhaps the children, but he's tried not to think too hard about them).
His surprise is brief, though, and he laughs softly, turning his face towards the breeze.]
That old swindler's ledgers must've finally hit red, then. [He sounds fond, though. Liyue was never home, per se, but he can't pretend like he hadn't found himself settled and comfortable. If the nostalgia in his own voice is so clear to him, there's no way that Zhongli won't be able to hear it, he thinks--but he finds he doesn't mind. Zhongli already knows he likes Liyue, that his actions were never personal; indeed, he's perhaps the only person who might care. Ironic, that.
He hadn't been lying when he'd told the Traveler he didn't like falling back on Plan B--it was simply that his preferences were ultimately irrelevant.
(He'd wondered, once, if Zhongli had had another plan in mind, had Childe chosen not to go through with it. But it was a thought quickly discarded. There was never any chance that Childe wouldn't follow through, after all.)
Across the ship, the captain of the Crux lets out a loud, hearty laugh. Absently, Childe lifts a hand, rubbing at his chest.]
We'll have to stop by the teahouse as well. I must be dreadfully behind on all the stories now.
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It's tempting.
[ (some parts of childe were easy to parse at first glance for someone who's been around as long as zhongli has. that's all he'll say about Plan B's.)
zhongli is unflinching as childe slides onto the railing beside him. if he wants to risk falling backwards into the water, zhongli wouldn't stop him. he has a hydro vision, as he said. sneznhayan waters and all of that. how he would escape crashing against the hull of the ocean's pearl would be his problem.
the same way he might have been watched before, zhongli bears witness to the tossing of childe's head in the sea-breeze, the open-mouthed laugh, the slope of his neck. something is different, he thinks again, and yet as the momentum of their conversation builds, it's starting to feel like every other time they've spoken. at the very least, this was something he wanted.
and judging by that warmth and fondness in childe's voice, which only zhongli could place, he would wager that childe felt the same in some respect. at least he missed liyue, if not zhongli himself...
anyway. ]
I'll share a synopsis of what you've missed when we're seated.
[ he gestures to the small tables laid about one side of the deck. ]
In exchange, you'll tell me of your exploits in Inazuma... and perhaps any conduct I'm to be performing while we're here. The instructions on your letter were lacking. I assume my presence here is enough.
no subject
You say that, but I don't believe you've ever caused trouble in your life.
[This is such a blatant lie that it's obviously a joke, but he punctuates it with a glance back and a wink for good measure.
It's a gesture that probably makes it a little funny, then, when Zhongli's words cause him to falter, smile slipping briefly. It's hardly enough for anyone to notice, but there nonetheless. (And Zhongli isn't just anyone, is he?)
Right... his letter. The entire farce they're performing, here, because he's supposed to be working, not indulging in fantasies of friendship with a god.
It's not a half-bad plan, really. They're hardly the first people to pose as a couple for some reason or another. But in truth, Childe knows it was little more than his own version of petty revenge, a poor substitute for the clashing of blades. Something embarrassing but ultimately harmless, to cover up a hurt he'd really had no real right to feel.
Madame Élodie is a dedicated romantic, his informants had told him, and it had been so easy to craft the lie after that. And maybe he'd spent much of the voyage back to Liyue wondering what sort of expression Zhongli might wear, when he learns what Childe truly roped him into. Irritation? Exasperation? Embarrassment? He's not sure Zhongli even knows how to blush.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is probably going to be etched onto his tombstone, isn't it?
But Childe is nothing if not adaptable, and he doesn't often make decisions that he doesn't intend to follow through with. So he rallies, even though he's suddenly acutely aware of how childish this whole plan is.
Ah, well. There's nothing to be done for it now.]
Let's work backwards on all of that, shall we? [The walls have ears, even on the open water. Better to discuss this here, away from everyone else. For that same reason, he lifts a hand from the railing he's sitting on and beckons Zhongli closer; when he can, he leans forward, until he's close to Zhongli's ear. He lowers his voice, hiding his mouth with his hand. To anyone observing, it probably just looks like he's making sure his words aren't lost to the waves.]
You see, our esteemed guests are under the impression that we are, ah. Close. [A date, he'd insisted, and it hadn't been a lie. But just in case it needs clarifying--] They've been told we're lovers.
[He can't actually see Zhongli's expression from this angle. Foolish.]
no subject
the mood takes on a strange air after zhongli makes his request, with childe's familiar smile suddenly dropping out. zhongli looks otherwise unaffected, arms crossed as he's watches childe with undivided attention. he can already see his response brewing just from his expression. he swears to himself that he can almost see him break into a sweat...
childe waves him closer. furrowing his brow, zhongli obliges, leaning to offer his ear as childe leans down to whisper.
you're kidding. zhongli's eyes go wide, his brow creasing deeper. zhongli doesn't emote much as is, so even this is a feat. unfortunately he won't blush; he's played the part of a lover before, but why here and now? and with childe?
he turns to look at childe incredulously, obviously confused. lovers? not even just dates? he's moving that fast?? he turns back to the ocean, facing the sea and keeping his mouth out of sight from the party guests. ]
So you've taken pains to inform the guests before the 'lover' in question. You assumed that I would play along.
[ accusingly. the pressure is on, although zhongli can just throw this plan out the window if he really wanted to. (does he? who knows. childe seems all right with it, though.) ]
I'm curious to hear what brought this on. This was your idea?
no subject
[It's not at all within the spirit of the law, so to speak, but Childe just can't help himself. He might, in fact, be physically incapable of helping himself.
He lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug.]
It's not an unusual operation, though it's typically outside my wheelhouse. I assessed the situation and decided this was the best course of action. [Just. Not necessarily the best course of action in terms of the actual assignment. But that's not Zhongli's business.]
Anyway, I'd say it's the least you can do to make up for throwing me under the cart, Morax.
[A subtle sharpness to his voice, then, the briefest glint of a hidden blade. Everything is a fight, after all, especially when it's not.
"You assumed I'd play along" Zhongli says, and.]
So? Will you?
[Because that's the thing, isn't it? A brief letter of invitation is hardly a formal contract. Zhongli really is free to embarrass him if he wants to. It would be his word against Childe's, and that's one battle Childe could never hope to win. He could say he's trusting that Zhongli won't risk the spectacle, but--honestly, Zhongli's right. He had just... kind of assumed his whims would be indulged.
Schemes really aren't his strong suit, are they. It's a good thing he's fine with that, or else he'd be a lot more miserable.]
no subject
[ meaning he did not do that at all, aside from (what zhongli thought was) joking about it.
zhongli narrows his eyes again at the implication that this was apparently the best and appropriate course to take in the moment, but he has no reason to think otherwise. something prompted childe to choose this in particular—whether that was to curry favor from the other guests or for his own enjoyment is dubious.
until childe implies that this is for some kind of revenge, anyway. zhongli can hear that rasp of the blade that childe wears as his tongue. from a distance, childe might look his usual self, but up close, the trained eye can see that latent, power-hungry animosity brewing under the surface: childe's smile seems toothier, the shine in his eyes dulled down beneath his lashes, everything else on the periphery fading to black.
it's not apparent now, though. at least childe opted to try to embarrass him or make him endure this farce as revenge rather than force them into combat while they're out at sea. but was this as unbearable as childe thought it might be?
zhongli is quiet, turning over the situation in his mind as he studies childe beside him. he could say "no" and end it here. he could also say "yes"—and then what? endanger their friendship? why was he even considering it? to throw childe off, or something else?
finally, he says: ]
We hadn't negotiated any terms when I accepted your invitation. The fault lies with me.
[ the letter isn't a formal contract, true, but he did accept what it offered him. that's the excuse he'll use. ]
I've played many parts before. 'The Lover' isn't one of them. I'll be following your lead, if that satisfies you.
no subject
[This is another dig at Zhongli not telling him about the plan. You know. In case that wasn't abundantly clear already.
And hey, maybe he will force Zhongli into combat at sea! Maybe that's his true master plan all along!!! (It is not. But it would be funny if it was.)
That sharpness is gone as quickly as it comes, though, and there's no animosity on his face when he pulls back out of Zhongli's personal space. Ever-changing and unpredictable as always; it would probably be easier to figure out how he actually feels about all this if Childe himself knew how he felt about it. But that's a conversation for another time and place.]
Innamorati, [He mutters under his breath; a private joke that he apparently isn't inclined to explain. Finally, he hops back down from the railing, raising an eyebrow.]
Surely you don't need that much guidance, do you? You can't really expect me to believe you've never had a partner.
[He's seen those statues? He's heard the stories of Zhongli at the height of his power? More importantly, he knows what Zhongli is like right now? Even Childe couldn't resist Zhongli's pull, though it's hardly a romantic thing. Probably.
(Local unhinged warrior is a mildly obsessed simp and has not yet realized it, news at 11.)]
no subject
zhongli hadn't taken into account just how long childe had kept himself leaned in, with the two of them murmuring surreptitiously. that warm breath at his ear and neck are suddenly gone, and zhongli can feel its absence, cool where it once was.
but anyway. that doesn't mean anything. (or it does. zhongli is slowly starting to put it together.)
childe slips down and zhongli turns to meet him, arms still crossed. there are still questions to be asked on his end as well, most of which will probably come later. he turns his gaze to the floor, carefully crafting his words. ]
You may have heard of Guili Assembly. Their goddess was named Guizhong. ...She was closer to being my partner than anyone else in my lifetime.
[ was it romantic? probably in a sense. were they gods who went through the normal dating process? no way.
looking back to childe. ]
I'm not sure why it would be hard to believe that I've never had a romantic relationship before. [ archons are pretty busy. ] And yourself?
1/3
[???
Why does that name sound so familiar...
...
!!!]
2/3
--Ah. He sure did indirectly destroy that thing, didn't he. That's probably a little awkward.]
3/3
Well, because-- [...Just, because. Because!! What's he supposed to do, explain? Out loud? Absolutely not.
He waves a hand impatiently.] Never mind. To answer your question--hah. I joined the Fatui when I was fourteen.
[So, no, obviously not. But it makes a lot more sense for him, surely? He barely even has friends.
With a sigh, he rests a hand on his hip, studying the man across from him. This is what he gets for trying to scheme, instead of just marching into the funeral parlor and demanding Zhongli's hand in combat. Maybe if he'd been very persuasive...
--Right. Work. Focus.]
Look, you needn't worry. You know how to put on a show, and I know what I'm doing. [DOES HE??] I don't think anyone would expect any overly affectionate displays from you, so you'll just have to tolerate me a little more than usual.
[LOCAL MAN FULL OF MISPLACED CONFIDENCE, SEVERELY UNDERESTIMATES WHAT HE IS GETTING INTO, NEWS AT 12]
1/2
2/2
the idea that zhongli had given some false impression that he's dated around is out of the question. perhaps there were rumors, some misguided piece of literature—something childe had gotten ahold of in his wide network of associates. if it wasn't any of that, zhongli could only guess it was one other thing. (gayness.)
the subject is quickly changed. zhongli doesn't chase it, only watching childe inquisitively—a sign that he would remember this, as he does with all other things. this may not be the last time they hear of it.
zhongli smiles a little. good luck childe!! ]
Mm. It's admirable, how you speak so confidently with little experience. Or any, in fact.
[ zhongli isn't a whole lot more experienced than him, but at least he's had several hundred years' worth of watching mortals come together and fall in love. the zhongli of this era might have also had a hand in some of these relationships—the delivery of letters and flowers and trinkets, the payment of debts from a spouse wrought with illness.
but seeing is a far cry from doing. how would it be, pretending to be in love with childe, accepting his (false) affections? zhongli takes him in again—blue and white and orange, eyes shining bright. his chest clenches again, unbidden. one thought remains—there had to be another way of doing this. childe chose this instead, knowing what they would have to do. how far would they go to keep up the charade, and would they be convincing at all? it was all yet to be seen. ]
I'll be patient. [ he always is. but that also depends on what childe tries to do. ] I'll admit I'm interested in seeing how you approach this plan of yours. Are you trying to convince someone in particular? The ambassador from Fontaine, perhaps?
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Childe makes a face, because Zhongli is so obviously making fun of him, like a butthead. "Admirable" his ass... this is the same damn vibe Zhongli has when he's letting Childe suffer stubbornly through chopsticks because he "needs to practice or he'll never truly appreciate Liyue cuisine"...]
Ah, xiansheng, there's a lot of overlap between intimacy and relationships for us mortals, you know? No need to make me sound completely inept.
["I've never actually dated anyone" is not the same thing as "I have no experience whatsoever"--but he grins, then, a touch rueful.] Anyway, I've had good role models. I know what love looks like.
[His parents are just as in love these days as they've always been, after all, and Childe wasn't always the way he is today. Zhongli doesn't know that, and probably never will, but no matter. Hell, maybe it's even for the best if Zhongli underestimates him--it would be a lie to say the thought of actually flustering Zhongli, for once, isn't a little intoxicating. Surely this is a normal thing to think about a person you are platonically obsessed with.
(Seeing is a far cry from doing, that's true--but Childe does seem to genuinely believe what he's saying. This will make it extra ironic when they actually have to start up this charade and Childe realizes he is not, in fact, prepared for any of this whatsoever.)
More importantly, he nods.]
Mm, that's the one. Normally I'd ask Katya to deal with something like this, but she's got her hands full with other things. [And, as he'd more-or-less said, Zhongli kind of owes him. So.] The madame is a notorious romantic with excellent connections to the Lazurite trade. She's been known oversee lavish custom orders for noble families all over Teyvat.
[It's not really about the jewels, of course. It's about establishing overt, legitimate connections, an in-route and a cover for their less than ethical activities elsewhere in the region. But it would be stupid to say that out loud, and Zhongli probably already knows it anyway.]
no subject
hopefully you've been practicing your chopsticks so you can eat properly in front of the madame, childe ☺️
anyway. childe knew this already: anything that crossed a sailor's mouth was passed onward to its crew, the vendors, their customers, the officials—would quickly be brought to zhongli's attention one way or another. he had heard the news from ningguang herself after a summons to the jade chamber to discuss it, among other topics relating to the transition of adeptal responsibilities to their mortal counterparts. he was likely one of the first to know, and the timing of childe's invitation was just unfortunate.
in terms of intimacy, there had been some mortals and other beings vying for his attention—most for the affections and accolades that come with being the lover of the great geo archon; others as a genuine consequence of rex lapis's compassion and service to his people; and others still whose religious affiliations had bled into their hearts, parasocial in nature, praying for his living presence to descend. all archons had to deal with something like this. zhongli would never fraternize with mortals in this way, but it would be reconsidered for adeptal beings.
zhongli still had never been with more than a handful of them. most were put off by the idea of negotiating a contract before getting to bed.
several points of their conversation catch his interest, yet one thing supersedes those topics all at once. he stares, processing the thought; even childe's explanation regarding the fontaine official comes out of focus, as if heard underwater. so zhongli had been a substitute, already conveniently situated in liyue. it all makes more sense now.
it shouldn't bother him. whatever brief flash of shock he had felt, only shown in the subtle widening of eyes and lifting of brows, gets quickly withdrawn. a part of him wants to go back on his word, say he's suddenly decided that it isn't worth the colossal effort it would take to execute—yet not only would it rouse suspicion, it would also be a breach of his morals. he gave his word and that was it.
he looks back toward the party, for no reason other than to look at it. really. ]
I see. [ disappointment? never heard of her ] And so you were hoping to gain access to her network.
[ he's still murmuring, keeping the conversation to themselves. he sees the fontaine's madame now, garishly dressed, wearing stones of every kind, throwing her head back as she laughs too loudly. zhongli was averse to these kinds of people, but he knew how to speak with them if he had to. he's not doing the heavy lifting here anyway.
he lets his arms fall to his sides and takes a slow step away from the banister, still keeping his gaze away from childe, whether he notices or not. ]
I've had enough. Let's join the other guests. [ not that he's giving childe a real choice about it. ] You can tell me of your 'role models' in the meantime. I don't imagine that they're members of the Fatui.
no subject
Well shit now he feels a tiny bit bad and he doesn't even really know why. DAMN IT ZHONGLI. THIS IS HIS PETTY REVENGE, DON'T MAKE HIM FEEL IMMATURE EVEN THOUGH HE IS DEFINITELY BEING IMMATURE.
Perhaps if either of them stopped to think about it for more than 5 seconds, they would realize that no, actually, Zhongli is not anywhere near the most convenient choice--but Childe certainly isn't going to do that, because untangling his Zhongli emotions is not on his to-do list at this time.
Instead, he sighs, as if to clear away the offer for an out resting on the tip of his tongue. It's too late now, unless he were to throw the entire mission for the sake of--what, a shred of honor? The memory of a friendship that wasn't wholly genuine on either side? No.
Zhongli says he's had enough, so... showtime, it seems. Gods. Maybe Zhongli just thinks he's going to take the chance to be over-the-top embarrassing, which would be funny but ultimately detrimental to his goals. Once they're in it, they'll probably be fine. Right? Right.]
Let's go, then. [Moving forward, and reaching out!! If Zhongli doesn't stop him, then he'll seize one of Zhongli's hands and lace their fingers together.] I suppose I really haven't told you much about my parents, have I?
[So, no, not Fatui at all. Even though Childe will definitely gossip about Vlad and Nadia at some point during the evening, because he is a good boss who pays attention to his agents even if he doesn't let them meet 90% of the time.
ANYWAY. Off they go!!]
1/2
but he also hadn't thought about this part—when childe suddenly catches his hand and weaves their fingers together, firmly grasping the row of his knuckles. zhongli slows with surprise the moment it happens, looking at their joined hands and then at childe as he matches his stride. his fingers are loose, but childe still holds them.
it's part of the act, he tells himself. it's a small gesture done even by children, by elders and their progeny, by close friends keeping a secret or giving comfort. it means nothing, yet there's a flurry of feeling when it happens, warm and cottony in his chest. nothing has ever felt like that before.
he catches himself before he stares for too long. he brings himself out of his thoughts and feelings, closing his finger's over childe's hand and continuing to walk them into the party, ignoring the little feelings sparking in his chest like striking matches. anyway. anyway!
"my parents." so that's where he learned about love. there's a little comfort in knowing childe would talk about something very personal to him. he looked forward to those conversations the most.
a smile eases on his lips, whether he likes it or not. ]
You've spoken of them in relation to your siblings. I haven't heard much else.
[ their spectacle does draw the eye of passersby, and they earn a mixture of concerned and pleasant looks. zhongli leads them into the fray, paying no mind. ]
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did zhongli really mind any of this? the feelings came and went like smoke, still a mystery to him, but it wasn't unbearable. any conversations they held with other guests seemed innocuous enough, with any comments about their 'relationship' being answered by childe—sometimes with a bald-faced lie, other times drawing from their authentic friendship. childe remembered things that zhongli never guessed he would.
zhongli can't help considering it, inciting sharp tugs beneath his ribs. once, childe lays his hand over his fist on the table, and he considers turning his hand over to take it in his grasp. he has to put on a show, doesn't he?
as they finish their orders, the guest of honor moves between guests like a spinning dancer—in fact, she's quite near their table as they stack their plates and push them aside. he leans in to murmur near his companion's shoulder. ]
Would you like to speak with her? I can introduce you.
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It's not because he doesn't want to, really. In fact, he's happily tactile under certain circumstances. He'll carry a child on his shoulders with no hesitation, and he claps his agents on the shoulder every now and then, mostly because he finds their reactions entertaining. But for the most part, it's a simple fact of Childe's life that if someone is in his personal space, they're probably trying to kill him. He's spent too long wearing hypervigilance as a second skin to permit anyone, even people like Xiangling or Hu Tao (or Zhongli, for that matter, back then) into his space easily.
To say nothing of intimate touch, though perhaps that's an overdramatic description for what they're doing. Holding hands, leaning close, all simple gestures that normal people do with their partners. Things that, Childe figured, would be easy enough to initiate. He hadn't been lying when he'd oh-so confidently declared that he knew what love looked like, and the sweet stories of his parents that he shares with Zhongli as they wander are entirely truthful. On top of all of that, he does enjoy a good performance--especially a harmless one that he knows he's putting on from the beginning. They were close enough, once, that faking a deeper relationship was supposed to be easy. It should've been fine.
Immediately, it is not fine.
Zhongli isn't the only one who falters when their fingers tangle, which is... unexpected, for one thing. A little embarrassing, for another. It's just handholding. They're both wearing gloves!!! It makes absolutely no sense for him to be suddenly, acutely aware of Zhongli's proximity. He's always admired Zhongli's hands, sure, but that's no reason that finally (finally?) touching one should stir up weird sensations in his chest. What--is he getting embarrassed now? About his own plan? That would be ridiculous.]
Well--[What was he saying? Oh, yes. His parents.]--I hope you don't mind if I'm the one talking your ear off for a change, then.
[Right. Focus. Easy. It'll just take a minute to get used to their roles, that's all. Shake it off, Tartaglia. It'll get easier.]
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Somehow, it gets harder. The wandering, the chatting--that's all fine, normal. They'd spend so many evenings doing precisely this when he'd been stationed in Liyue, and Childe's always found it dangerously easy to fall into Zhongli's orbit. Zhongli is just... magnetic. And no matter how human he tries to appear, Childe doesn't think he'll ever be able to rid himself of that quietly powerful aura. It's impossible to miss now that he knows what to look for, and for someone like Childe, there's little else more enticing. It makes it terribly easy to want to stay near him, to talk, to listen. That isn't the hard part.
No, the hard part is this: the fact that Childe is indisputably, irrevocably in over his head, and there's nothing he can do about it now.
The first incident, he'd written off as pre-performance nerves. But that excuse had fallen apart so quickly. Every time he'd felt his face heat up whenever he'd realized, abruptly, how close they were. Every time he'd had to steel himself to touch Zhongli like a lover would, no matter how simple or chaste the gesture. Every time his breath caught when he'd glanced over, just in time to see the light catch Zhongli's eyes just so.
The odd sensations in his chest aren't nerves, or embarrassment. Not really. It hadn't taken him long to realize that, and then... well. Childe's inexperienced, sure, but he's not oblivious, and he's not the type to avoid acknowledging the obvious either.
(Though... it's a little strange. Sure, he's never had these feelings himself until now, but... are they supposed to be quite this sharp? This kind of relentless pull? It's a lot like fighting their Anemoboxers, actually--but that's not romantic, so no wonder nobody's described it like that in stories. Hunh.)
But they've already committed to this. They locked themselves in the moment they rejoined the group with their fingers intertwined, in full view of Ningguang and Beidou and everyone else on the ship. They're too far in to abandon the lie for a new strategy. He'll just have to deal with it, and Zhongli can make fun of him in private later.
At least he'd had the foresight to paint them as old friends turned new lovers, a convenient excuse for any awkward stumbles--though it's a double-edged sword, because it means he needs to play the part of someone enamored with a new paramour. They're lucky Zhongli has a reputation as a distinguished gentleman, or else they'd probably have to be even more touchy than they have been so far, and Childe genuinely doesn't know what he'd do then. Perish on the spot, maybe? Imagine having to kiss Zhongli just to sell an act.
--Wait, actually, no. He is not going to imagine that. He does not need to spiral any further than he already has.
Gods. It would be so much easier if he hated this.
The meal is a welcome respite, but it passes too quickly. All too soon, Zhongli is leaning close to him again, and Childe has to curl his fingers into his palms to focus on what he's saying. Fortunately, it works--Childe's too disciplined to let his gaze snap over to her, so he takes a steadying breath before he turns his head to meet Zhongli's eyes. Who'd have ever thought he'd need to brace himself just to look at the man? He's never allowed to have ideas ever again.]
Now's as good a time as any, I think. I'll leave it to you.
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since he began living his mortal life, zhongli's found agreeable and eager audiences in every corner of his harbor. he knew the names of the merchants, the routes of the ships that sail from her port, the source of every ingredient of every dish he's savored. liyue's residents flocked to him for his facts and stories—whether or not they were true, as historians would argue with him over his uncorroborated accounts and seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of things barely understood.
there were many things that might have pulled the citizenry towards him, attempting to curry favor or argue or simply enjoy his placid company. he knew this logically.
but childe's constant presence in his life was a precious anomaly. he was had and used by one of his own, and his business in liyue seemed to be finished. while childe still bemoaned the situation, he willingly and regularly visited zhongli, far from his home and his missions. invitations for spars aside, childe spoke in bright smiles and animated expressions, conversed with him about history and philosophy, introduced him to things outside of his liyue that an old and mortal ex-god would not be privy to. zhongli was only now beginning to exist in the present. childe was already there, offering his hand, drawing him in like a current.
he was still like this even now. whatever aura surrounded zhongli, childe makes up for it in charm and wit. he never falters in conversation, carefully balancing confidence and humility, sharing a far more human connection than zhongli could ever hope to accomplish. at times he allows childe to hold conversations afloat, watching as the one he's conversing with warms to him like a fire against a bitter cold, no matter their affiliation to and opinion of the fatui. zhongli felt this about him from the moment they met.
zhongli is able to swallow back any rush of blood to his cheeks—he could logic his way through just about anything. and yet, when childe would pull him against his shoulder or his chest, that feeling beneath his ribs would suddenly erupt. it's all he can do to stifle it before childe can notice his ancient heart beating against him, trying to force its way out.
he saw childe's occasional and subtle faltering, only noticeable by somehow who knew him well. at times, there would be a deeper shade of pink on his cheeks, and not simply from the night's sea-breeze and ocean spray. somehow, their eyes always seemed to slip past one another's, never able to catch hold even as zhongli's reach for him. childe wore it differently, but zhongli's seen it enough times to recognize it for what it is. but it couldn't be.
occasionally the sobering fact that he's here as a substitute would crop up (even though it's not a fact you stupid old man) and whisper itself back into existence. his countenance towards childe would briefly ice over, and he would turn his attention back to the other guests. he noticed that he did this. for once, his disappointment couldn't be helped.
he had only one previous point of reference for these feelings. it was enough to be sure of what this all meant.
their night would end. there would need to be a story crafted once the night finally ends and the sun dawns again on liyue harbor. would they meet again after this? would it be the same as before? would he have to mourn their friendship like so many other things on his life?
childe is hesitating before he raises his head to zhongli. he can see it. instead of inviting them away from their table, zhongli keeps still and holds childe's gaze once he has it. in liyue, they never gave looking at the other a second thought, wiling the night away with food and wine and stories and small games. now, even that became a vulnerability, like it might betray too much if the other searched long enough. it was as much childe's doing as it was his own.
childe's suit is still incandescently white. his eyes are so blue. ]
...You seem uneasy.
[ a thought raises to mind. zhongli smiles a little, attempting to assuage the situation. they can get rid of any misconceptions. zhongli can stop thinking that this is more than what it is. (if it's true, what then?) ]
I never would have guessed that this would be what makes you falter. Perhaps your parents' influence wasn't enough after all.
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For now, though--Zhongli's words are more sobering than they're probably intended to be, and Childe laughs softly.]
That can't possibly be a revelation, xiansheng. [A quip, lighthearted, skirting around the edges of something too fragile to address directly. He isn't ashamed of the sort of person he is, but it's not like he doesn't know how it makes his family feel, either. There are a thousand reasons he'll lie to Teucer for as long as he possibly can, and that's one of them.
If his parents' influence had been enough for anything, he wouldn't have ever ended up in Liyue in the first place. Funny, that.
Still, it puts him on edge, a little. He really should've expected this, but he's still not used to being so easily seen. It's easy to deal with when nobody's truly looking; apparently, he'd forgotten what it felt like to be the subject of Zhongli's scrutiny.
It's difficult to hold Zhongli's gaze, but it feels a little like a challenge, so he does.]
It's fine. Just--what's that saying you have? 画虎类犬? [He's arrogant, but only because he's always acknowledged his failures and weaknesses, working to overcome them. This is no different. (Just--not in the way he's choosing to frame it.)] I'd only meant to give you a hard time, but it seems like this isn't my wheelhouse after all.
[It's not a lie. It just. Has nothing to do with why he's acting like this.]
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the conversation rolls onward. childe instead admits to his failures, almost effectively shutting down the conversation. zhongli makes a weak attempt to lighten the mood. ]
You were hoping to take revenge in addition to swaying the ambassador in your favor.
[ childe's accomplished this more times than he probably knew. zhongli cooly went along with this plan, knowing that he gave his word and that any resistance would be rebuffed, even when he knew that his feelings had deepened beyond his reach, a leash suddenly let loose.
zhongli gives in. he's the first to look away, watching the ambassador and the rabble surrounding her. ]
It isn't in your wheelhouse to act as if you're lovers with someone? Or to fluster me this way, if that was your goal?
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Zhongli's words do work as a more pleasant distraction, though. When he grins again, it's much closer to his usual, more genuine cheer.]
Ahaha, both, I suppose--but I should've known there was no chance of throwing you off-kilter! If I hadn't seen the way you are around Miss Director, I would've thought you were impossible to ruffle at all.
[That, and he maybe should've stopped to realize that he's a little too obsessed with the idea of breaking Zhongli's composure and getting under his skin, like, before he wrote that stupid invitation later. That might've been helpful.]
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I lied 2/3
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I'm so glad I iconed all the chibi stickers yesterday
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you can assume zhongli takes him to another room idk this is too long and i rewrote it a bunch
LMKSJDGHKH both of us watching our tags spiral out of control
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this is so long excuse me...
LMFSDKJHG in this house we trade novels
YEAH.... YUP
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the way my paid ran out and I'm left with like 90% chibi icons lmfdksjghjkhsg
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nice fall out boy reference
JHDFKJSHGK I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
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I would LOVE if dw would stop giving me errors every time I comment
I KNOW FR i'm back to writing in my notes app
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