smdh | [closed] with yaywon dgm edition

Tch. Of course you did.

[If it had only been the one week, this would be a more sensitive subject--it would remind him too much of Wisely, and everything that happened before and after the Noah rifled through his memories. But it happened often enough after he died that he got used to it, at least enough that it doesn't set him off right now.

Instead, he grumbles into his soba--] You know too much about me already.

[But it's the same as his usual grouchiness, the way he tells Tiedoll not to call him "son," or the way he'd immediately say "no" if anyone asked him if he has any friends. God knows how long Lavi's studied him with that Bookman eye, and how closely, but some of what Lavi knows is only because Kanda let him in. Kanda knows that, even if he wouldn't admit it.]

[Lavi keeps eating, ruminating on Kanda's words. He'd always thought knowing this much about any person was normal, especially as an heir to a clan of watchers, of people who do all that they can to know. And maybe it was normal for a time. But at some point, the knowing changed. It turned strange, and at the same time familiar. This is what normal people do when they like someone. He just never thought he'd become that kind of ordinary, or that he'd choose to be.

He knows too much about Kanda already, but it's not enough to satisfy.]

Right back atcha.

[He wonders if Kanda feels that way about him -- the desire to know.]

You're the only person who knows me like you do, y'know.

Who's fault is that?

[LAVI'S!!! ...Mostly. It was Lavi's choice to keep coming back after Kanda made it clear he could see through the fake smiles, but Lavi never asked him to pay as much attention as he has. He never genuinely told Kanda to notice, to remember things about him--not the little things, like Lavi's food preferences, and certainly not the big things, like the depths of his paranoia, or the way the people at the Order wormed their way into his heart the same way they did Kanda's.

Does he want to know more? Kanda wouldn't know how to answer that. He's so unused to wanting things in the first place, let alone things he can actually have. After Alma, he never thought he'd find anyone he'd feel comfortable around for hours, reading or walking or simply coexisting in mutual understanding. Even then, he passively absorbed most of what he learned about Lavi. It's rare that he lets himself be openly curious about anyone--most questions he's had about others slip by unspoken, and that was true about Lavi too, until Scawwy.

Besides, he knows the most important things already anyway: the sound of Lavi's breathing and the way his body shifts right before he blocks or lunges. The complexity of Lavi's devotion to Bookman, both his mentor and his duty. The way it felt to be without him, and the realization that, for the first time in years, he didn't want to be left alone.

It's not that he isn't curious at all. If he didn't want to know anything, they wouldn't be here now. When Lavi talks, he listens--it would be impossible to do that and never wonder, sometimes. But being as ravenous for details as Lavi is... the thought of that still feels a little frightening, like tempting fate. If he wants too much, too fast, too strongly...

He reaches over with his chopsticks, helping himself to a piece of meat from Lavi's food.]

It's because you talk so much. [AT LEAST BE NICE WHILE YOU'RE STEALING FOOD]

Hey...!

[HIS PORK???? Luckily, he's not ALLEN so he's not gonna attempt to fight Kanda to the death on this romantic hill overlooking the festival beyond. Instead, he just finds this behavior CUTE... like when a cat leaps onto the counter and steals some of your fish because it loves you so much... uwah.... anyway it's not about the PORK it's about this accurate CALL OUT of his CHARACTER.

he considers pretend-sulking for a bit, but while other people would think it's cute... kanda would not.... he compromises by leaning his head on top of kanda's, weh]

Yeah, but not everyone listens the way you do.

[some people (LIKE ALLEN) JUST TUNE HIM OUT... or some people (LIKE BOOKMAN) beat his ass for running his mouth all the time...]

[His pork now HAH. Kanda truly gets so demanding when he feels like it... he really is a cat in so many ways.

He makes up for it by letting Lavi rest his head, even though it means he has to lift his bowl so as not to jostle him off. He's in a good mood, enough that he'd lean against Lavi in return if he wasn't eating--maybe he will when he's done. For now, he just makes a vague sound of agreement.]

That's just how people are. [For the most part, anyway. They've both seen it a hundred times--the people who simply wait to speak instead of truly listening, or the ones who don't even pretend to care.

Although, if he thinks of the people they know and care about--] They listen more than you think.

[He doesn't specify who "they" are, figuring he doesn't need to.]

[leaning against Kanda like this feels very comfy and nice... maybe Lavi is like a cat too? a rabbit-passing cat... he avoids putting too much of his weight on Kanda because he's trying to EAT... Lavi should eat too, but he's too comfortable to move right now. instead, he makes a small noise of acknowledgement, thoughts drifting.]

Speaking of people...

[their people, who Lavi hasn't seen for an entirety of a mg's time]

I guess it'll be a while until we see 'em again.

[especially if Allen is still on the run when they catch up with him, lavi thinks, having no idea that he'll see Link again out of everyone in dgm]

[STOP THEY'RE THE SAME PEOPLE LAVI KNOWS and honestly the two of them are probably equally clueless right now if they missed Tiedoll. THEY'RE JUST TRACKING DOWN ALLEN AND JOHNNY AND ALSO LINK WHO JOHNNY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IS AROUND I THINK??? Unless Tiedoll captured Allen on his own but if that happened Allen probably just Ark'd outta there. GOD. EVERYTHING IS A MESS.

Kanda sighs, putting his chopsticks down.]

...I've still got my golem, if we really need it. [He'd rather not since they last thing they know is that he kicked some CROW ass and absconded with Johnny, but. At least they have a connection, if they get really desperate.] But if they aren't sticking to that receipt list, then I have no idea where they're headed.

[At least they didn't have to try and catch a train out from whatever country Scawwy was in. Though, admittedly, Kanda wonders if it might've been better if they'd had to--if they'd had a built-in excuse for taking their time, instead of the unspoken meandering they've been doing.

He watches the people below them, quietly mulling that over. After a bit, he glances at Lavi. As straightforward as ever:]

Do you want to head back?

[Lavi had said he wanted to stick together, but helping Allen is Kanda's guilt, debt-driven mission, not his. Kanda wouldn't be angry with him for missing everyone else back at the Order.]

[Lavi blinks, eye widening a fraction at the question. Now it's his turn to glance at Kanda, lifting his head up so he can meet his gaze. He's not sure what he's searching for -- discontent? Or acceptance that Lavi might still choose to leave? Either way, he shakes his head.]

I'm worried about 'em. [especially now that they know there's a rogue Innocence out there, apparently masquerading as a human] But I'm more worried about Allen. The others have each other at least.

[Allen apparently has Johnny, and sometimes just having someone to protect can do a lot of good, especially for someone like Allen, but the fact of the matter is that Johnny is still a civilian, at the end of the day. Easier to protect someone if you have two other people to rely on.

Even better if Johnny has someone to protect Allen from him too. He doesn't voice it, but his brow furrows anyway, a thought he knows Kanda would understand.]

'Sides, I said I was gonna stick by you. Unless you want me to go back?

[Even if he was unhappy, Kanda probably would've met Lavi's gaze anyway--but he's not, so it's no hardship to do so. He just looks at him in return, more patient than most would expect him to be capable of. It's not that he's miraculously grown into and mature and loving partner who respects Lavi's choices, so much as the fact that this journey was never something Kanda expected of him to begin with. If anything, he's still not quite sure what to do with the knowledge that Lavi could be anywhere in the universe right now, doing anything he wants, and he's chosen to stay right here. It's not like it's a new thing for Lavi to want to be around him, but... it's different now.

Maybe that's why, instead of his characteristic grouching or some dry, rude remark, he shakes his head slightly and goes back to eating.]

You're fine. [LACKLUSTER..... but it's the closest to an I want you here as he'll say.]

[He hadn't expected a response beyond Kanda's usual scoff or stubborn silence, so hearing this now makes him go all warm, pleased in a stupid tingly kind of way -- the kind that makes him smile like a goof. His noodles are probably getting cold by now, but Lavi doesn't care, he just goes right back to leaning his head on Kanda's,]

Hehe. [HEHE] I like you too, Yuu!

[the moment of truth: that Lavi acts like a stupid idiot as part of his persona, but there are times when he is genuinely a stupid idiot, and maybe that goes hand in hand with liking someone so much that you have to be a fool about it... there's no more emotion share but if animal crossing flowers could bloom at this moment....]

[AUGHGHGHGH]

Don't push your luck, Stupid Rabbit. [YOU ARE LITERALLY DATING]

[Lavi just peeks over at his bowl

Is kanda done eating yet]

[yeah he's done now]

Yuu…!

[LEANS IN FOR A KISS!!!!]

[GRABS HIS FACE TO THROW HIM DOWN THE HILL]

[NOT THIS ICON!!!!

he immediately grabs Kanda’s wrists]

Wait wait wait!!!

[DONT THROW HIM]

[It was gonna be the scarf but I saw this one first

Anyway he waits... like the kind and generous person he is...]

[oh he’s waiting… softe… (IS IT???) normally this would be Lavi’s cue to say something annoying and get pitched down the hill anyway… or to yank himself away and attempt a swift escape, but he doesn’t feel like running or testing the limits of Kanda’s generosity… at least without getting something from it first?

He grips Kanda’s wrists a little more tightly, as if to hold them in place, then he turns his head, pressing a kiss to the palm of Kanda’s hand. The thought — it’s too bad Yuu wears gloves - briefly flickers through his head, but affection curls through him anyway, even with the feel of fabric against his lips. It’s not as distracting (at least for Lavi) as a kiss on the mouth… But it feels just as intimate, which means he enjoys it anyway, this small moment before he is inevitably thrown down the hill.]

[Throws him down the hill

No jk. He does eye Lavi, poised to do exactly that depending on how ridiculous Lavi decides to be--but Lavi chooses gentle sweetness instead, which makes Kanda relent.

He's not one to be moved by a festive atmosphere, but he's as relaxed as he gets out in the open, and a part of him is tempted to give in to the gremlin urge to lean over and kiss Lavi himself--mostly for the joy of the wide-eyed look it would get him. Lavi isn't the only one who can be a menace.

He considers... but for the moment, he decides to indulge Lavi instead. He doesn't say anything, but his hand relaxes in Lavi's grip, fingertips resting gently on his cheekbone.]

[THE GREMLIN URGE TO KISS YOUR BOYFRIEND SO YOU CAN MAKE HIM JUMP

Lavi has no idea that Kanda is considering gremlin options that don't include hill violence... Instead, he's just very pleased that Kanda hasn't chosen to yank his hand away yet, soaking in this moment for however long it'll last, knowing that every part will be committed to memory -- the way Kanda's hand relaxes against his lips, his fingers feeling warm on Lavi's cheek.

Contrary to how Lavi likes to act -- he isn't really a flirt. He's flirted, yes, but so much of that is just feigned confidence -- and he's never gone deeper than the surface with anyone, until now. All of this is as new to Lavi as it is to Kanda -- even newer actually, because Lavi has never loved or treasured anyone in his life the way Kanda has. It feels strange to have more experience and at the same time, have none at all. At this point, all he can do is... whatever he feels like doing, which is strange and new and still terrifying.

Like how he wants to feel more than the glove on Kanda's hand right now? Luckily for him, all he has to do is shift his mouth up further, until his lips are pressed against the bare skin of Kanda's fingertips. Most of his expression is hidden by Kanda's hand, but there's a gleam of appreciation in Lavi's eye, thoroughly enjoying how both of these idiots wear fingerless gloves??? for some reason???]

[On a second read I see this was more horny than I originally thought

But despite Lavi's massive death wish, Kanda trusts that Lavi won't get too out of (hah) hand--they're not that isolated, after all. Truly it's mostly exorcist paranoia that's saving Lavi from his fate of being yeeted into the sunset.

That, and Kanda is learning right along with him. So few people are allowed in his space, and though plenty of them drape on him or tug him around, none of them would ever touch him like this. His memories of the past are fractured and few, mostly centered on his death and the guilt of broken promises. The love and longing in his heart have always been vague and intangible--he has no convenient, insightful shortcut into knowing what sorts of physicality he likes and what he doesn't.

Even if he did, though, Lavi isn't that woman, and he's not Alma. Kanda doesn't want him to be. He's happy with this, just as they are right now: Lavi, letting himself be a person under the guise of testing Kanda's boundaries. Lavi, distracted from his worries in favor of playfulness, even if it's impossible to put reality aside completely. Lavi, with his bright eye and the barely-visible curve of his smile as he bypasses the glove to kiss bare skin, clearly enjoying himself even though they've left the festivities down below.

Kanda never gave much thought to his inability to develop callouses before Scawwy; the ones he'd gained have healed now, but he wonders, idly, how different this would feel if they hadn't. As it is, he decides it's nice.

He taps Lavi's lip, as if to preemptively stop him from getting too lost in whatever he's thinking. It makes his bracelet slip down, but only a little, since Lavi made it perfectly snug.]

I'm not your food.

[The little lip tap does the job -- or does it? Lavi's jostled from one thought, and now he's sliding into another.... hmmmm.... like how easy it would be to part his lips and bite down, just a little gentle nip... instead, his lips quirk into a pout, at having been FOUND OUT so easily... even though he should be grateful for this non-violent reminder.

he presses another quick kiss against Kanda's hand, and then loosens his grip so Kanda can pull away. but for now, he holds Kanda's hands in his....]

You taste better.

[kanda's yummier than yakisoba (flushed). lavi wonders how hard he has to try to beat Kanda's one true love, soba...]

[anyways]

[closed] with yaywon dgm edition

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject