[This is an incredibly stupid joke about breaking out of prison when he was falsely accused in the first place, and being a war criminal anyway. THE WAY THEY ARE TECHNICALLY ALL EX-CONS IN SOME CAPACITY. But Essek's business isn't for Childe to spill so he does not, instead just sipping at his tea in good humor.]
It's nice to see that you've made it work, though. [Long distance inter-universe relationships... wild... "childe isn't that what you're also doing" yeah but it's different because neither of them are on house arrest!!!] I can't speak for Essek's schedule, but I should be able to rearrange mine for at least a short trip.
[Take them to space someday... maybe he'll see Skirk out there in the sky]
[The way he knows a little more about Nehan than Aventurine, HIS BEST FRIEND (I'm kidding). He does know a bit about some of this, so he doesn't say anything because that is Nehan's (and he guesses Aventurine's now) business.
He can't believe he is besties with a lightless-eyed freak and now is dating a lightless-eyed freak. Why is he surrounded by this? Please get some light back into your eyeballs.]
...I'm free to go whenever there is time.
[Sometimes, you have done your duty in helping your friends vanquish a nine-mage evil, slap around a (historian voice) good friend's former deranged Sith mentor and two evil exes, and now you are a fugitive who really has nothing but to be on the run doing nerdy little wizard things.
Just with your boyfriend who you haven't talked to about, like, officially being your boyfriend at any point.]
THEIR ANTAGONIST COUNSEL... Essek if you were from a video game you too could've been a boss fight. Instead you had to go beat up another purple man. He's grateful that Essek managed to survive all this to make it to their nice tea party, and also apparently find time to have a long distance boyfriend(?).
Nehan reserves any judgment on this relationship as of yet, sipping at his drink briefly. ]
After all that's happened to you three, a vacation should be in the cards.
That would be so insane if Skirk was just traversing Aventurine's cosmos, but this is Hoyoverse and maybe one day, when we run out of hi3rd expies, we'll start getting genshin ones. For now, he gives an easy little nod at this agreement to come visit his side of things, with a small mental note to himself to steal Nehan away at that time as well.
Also, he gives Essek a look that very much says everyone is worried about you all the time before glancing at Nehan, and then back to the others as he sips his own tea. ]
... Yes, I had mentioned the one with the rocket launcher.
[ You know, because there were several lobster incidents during their graveyard stay. ]
From the sound of it, one of those games lured people in with that very idea, so be careful what you wish for.
[This is mainly a joke, but it is very funny that FinalDestinations happened before CRAU3. My god. Vacation to a 2week... if only Wriothesley was here to tell them more about it. AND STOP JUDGING THEIR FREAKY EYEBALLS. You go through a harrowing situation in a void of darkness and corruption ONE TIME...]
Ah, at the party? That was fun. [WAS IT FUN? For him yeah. In amusement--] I remember you two brawling on the floor before that happened.
[Don't fucking look at him that way. His brows furrow dismissively at Aventurine. Stop that.
Slowly, he closes his eyes when Nehan mentions the lobster, taking a sip of his tea to keep himself from groaning, and using it as an attempt to ignore Aventurine's worry.
Why the fuck would Aventurine mention that! WHY IS IT FUN?!
In the midst of his drink, he sputters slightly at the last part and quickly tries to cough to clear his throat and swallow to keep from falling into the choking strangle you get. AVENTURINE STARTED IT!!!]
[ please feel free to break tag order as a mingle because i am a vegetable
He doesn't want to fathom a vacation turned murder game. That's already what GBF summer vacation is like. He can't deal with it elsewhere. He's still sort of grappling with the reality of a bunch of people he knows disappearing without even noticing until they shamble out of a very cursed airport.
Thankfully, the existential dread of that is cut short by Essek being a maiden again. Offers him a handkerchief just in case, also faintly amused. ]
...Aventurine didn't mention that one. He could elaborate now, since Essek seems at a loss for words.
[ Why were the girls fighting... or having UST on a mingle party, I don't know your life. ]
[ Why WERE the girls fighting?? Even Aventurine doesn't know. He just sets his tea down and crosses his arms, looking very much exasperated. He hopes Essek chokes to death on air. ]
It's not as if I started it.
[ Did he start it? He doesn't think he started it. Literally all he did was answer a dumb party question, and then suddenly they were on the floor. ]
Essek was the one who grabbed me around the neck and decided he wanted to tussle.
[ And what was Aventurine supposed to do? NOT FIGHT BACK? ]
[Plants Nu in the ground like a radish. I almost typed pants. Also, belatedly, Childe is wearing a gold bracelet in addition to his usual accessories... he is becoming more gay with each death.
Anyway he clearly just thinks this is funny because he's annoying]
But wow, betrayal on all sides. He has no allies in this room (maybe Childe?), and he narrows his eyes at Essek before dropping his head on Nehan's shoulder like a sad, pathetic creature. ]
Nehan, you could at least pretend to defend me a little.
[ This isn't the united front they should be presenting. ]
Ahaha, I've found that people who like you are the first to betray you at times like this. [NOT IN A DRAMATIC SERIOUS SCARAMOUCHE WAY just in a silly way... thinks about Iris who blamed the cage incident on him just because]
[blows up Anna again and also Dana for good measure. I'm leaving single and also bad-ending forever from now on.
Anyway, he tilts his head slightly. He's not so oblivious that he doesn't understand what they mean, but also--]
"Embarrassing bits"...? [What is this "embarrassment" you speak of... he can't remember what it's like to feel shame...] I don't recall anything like that.
[This is a lie he can think of at least two immediately but he just teased Essek 5 seconds ago so he can be nice for the next 10]
[This is not what he had in mind when he was being reverse Uno'd, or whatever. He makes a bit of a face at the request, glances at Childe, and then looks at Nehan and Aventurine around his cup as he has another sip.
Don't just think of two immediately, what the fuck?]
It wasn't anything glamorous. He was coming out of the baggage device where the... [Thinks about how he died... Frowns.] Well, he was coming out of the trash, and I was going in.
[ i think you guys should talk about the threesome. threesomes? what even happened here
He continues to assuage Aventurine with head pats, and does not point out that some people would find a meet-cute in the garbage to be embarrassing. Nehan really doesn't even know the half of it and how mild this is in comparison to everything else. There was wasn't that much banging in Silent Hill? ]
I see. So you met in a dumpster of some kind. [ ... ] It makes for a good story...
[ the way aventurine only knows half of it... everyone was so busy whoring while he was oblivious to it all
He cracks an even wider grin, eager to steer the conversation to something a little cornier. Enough of the pleasantries. They're here on a double date, and that means digging into each other's relationships, right? ]
Wholly captivating, I would say. [ And he was there! ] If you don't mind me asking, what was it that initially drew your romantic interests to Essek, Childe?
[This is so funny for so many reasons. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE THREESOMES THEY'RE NOT IMPORTANT.]
You didn't feel like mentioning that was the only place we had to explore, those first few days? [TEASING...] That was the second time, anyway. You were learning how to use the phones the first time we spoke.
[He kindly does not mention that Essek blinded himself with the flashlight like an idiot. This is not nearly as impressive and romantic as it seems, though, because the only reason he remembers this is that it's the conversation where Essek said The One Thing that made Childe weird about him in the first place. If not for that he definitely wouldn't remember.
Anyway, he is not expecting to be QUIZZED LIKE THEY'RE TEENS AT A SLEEPOVER so he takes a drink of his tea after that--he doesn't choke in surprise or anything so dramatic, but he does blink, clearly not expecting that. After a moment, he shakes his head in amusement, setting his cup back down.]
And here I thought Manwol and Jae-ha were the nosy ones. [WHEN IN TRUTH IT WAS APPARENTLY THE WHOLEASS GRAVEYARD... he glances at Essek first, as if to gauge how embarrassed he looks, though it doesn't matter all that much in the end because his answer would be somewhat vague regardless.] ...There are certain things about my life that are difficult for most to understand. But it was clear early on that I could trust him with them.
[Does not bother adding "also have you seen him" because he thinks that's obvious]
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[This is an incredibly stupid joke about breaking out of prison when he was falsely accused in the first place, and being a war criminal anyway. THE WAY THEY ARE TECHNICALLY ALL EX-CONS IN SOME CAPACITY. But Essek's business isn't for Childe to spill so he does not, instead just sipping at his tea in good humor.]
It's nice to see that you've made it work, though. [Long distance inter-universe relationships... wild... "childe isn't that what you're also doing" yeah but it's different because neither of them are on house arrest!!!] I can't speak for Essek's schedule, but I should be able to rearrange mine for at least a short trip.
[Take them to space someday... maybe he'll see Skirk out there in the sky]
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He can't believe he is besties with a lightless-eyed freak and now is dating a lightless-eyed freak. Why is he surrounded by this? Please get some light back into your eyeballs.]
...I'm free to go whenever there is time.
[Sometimes, you have done your duty in helping your friends vanquish a nine-mage evil, slap around a (historian voice) good friend's former deranged Sith mentor and two evil exes, and now you are a fugitive who really has nothing but to be on the run doing nerdy little wizard things.
Just with your boyfriend who you haven't talked to about, like, officially being your boyfriend at any point.]
You don't have to worry about me.
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THEIR ANTAGONIST COUNSEL... Essek if you were from a video game you too could've been a boss fight. Instead you had to go beat up another purple man. He's grateful that Essek managed to survive all this to make it to their nice tea party, and also apparently find time to have a long distance boyfriend(?).
Nehan reserves any judgment on this relationship as of yet, sipping at his drink briefly. ]
After all that's happened to you three, a vacation should be in the cards.
[ Murder again...... ]
Aventurine told me there were lobsters involved.
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That would be so insane if Skirk was just traversing Aventurine's cosmos, but this is Hoyoverse and maybe one day, when we run out of hi3rd expies, we'll start getting genshin ones. For now, he gives an easy little nod at this agreement to come visit his side of things, with a small mental note to himself to steal Nehan away at that time as well.
Also, he gives Essek a look that very much says everyone is worried about you all the time before glancing at Nehan, and then back to the others as he sips his own tea. ]
... Yes, I had mentioned the one with the rocket launcher.
[ You know, because there were several lobster incidents during their graveyard stay. ]
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[This is mainly a joke, but it is very funny that FinalDestinations happened before CRAU3. My god. Vacation to a 2week... if only Wriothesley was here to tell them more about it. AND STOP JUDGING THEIR FREAKY EYEBALLS. You go through a harrowing situation in a void of darkness and corruption ONE TIME...]
Ah, at the party? That was fun. [WAS IT FUN? For him yeah. In amusement--] I remember you two brawling on the floor before that happened.
[HE DIDN'T HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT PART]
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Slowly, he closes his eyes when Nehan mentions the lobster, taking a sip of his tea to keep himself from groaning, and using it as an attempt to ignore Aventurine's worry.
Why the fuck would Aventurine mention that! WHY IS IT FUN?!
In the midst of his drink, he sputters slightly at the last part and quickly tries to cough to clear his throat and swallow to keep from falling into the choking strangle you get. AVENTURINE STARTED IT!!!]
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He doesn't want to fathom a vacation turned murder game. That's already what GBF summer vacation is like. He can't deal with it elsewhere. He's still sort of grappling with the reality of a bunch of people he knows disappearing without even noticing until they shamble out of a very cursed airport.
Thankfully, the existential dread of that is cut short by Essek being a maiden again. Offers him a handkerchief just in case, also faintly amused. ]
...Aventurine didn't mention that one. He could elaborate now, since Essek seems at a loss for words.
[ Why were the girls fighting... or having UST on a mingle party, I don't know your life. ]
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It's not as if I started it.
[ Did he start it? He doesn't think he started it. Literally all he did was answer a dumb party question, and then suddenly they were on the floor. ]
Essek was the one who grabbed me around the neck and decided he wanted to tussle.
[ And what was Aventurine supposed to do? NOT FIGHT BACK? ]
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Anyway he clearly just thinks this is funny because he's annoying]
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He clears his throat and covers his mouth as he finishes coughing. Thank you, Childe. Aventurine gets a little
glare without any heat to it.]
Aventurine absolutely started it. I wouldn't have wasted my energy grabbing him if not. He was being annoying, as usual.
[What are best friends if not people we are mean to in front of company? At least Nehan knows how annoying Aventurine is already......]
Besides, the usual strange effects were in play as well.
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Anyway, he thinks they're both annoying. Holds his tea. ]
Arguing about who started it... are you children?
[ WOULD THEY LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH THE STARDUST KIDS INSTEAD ]
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Almost as if when they hold hands, the bracelets will be together.]
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But wow, betrayal on all sides. He has no allies in this room (maybe Childe?), and he narrows his eyes at Essek before dropping his head on Nehan's shoulder like a sad, pathetic creature. ]
Nehan, you could at least pretend to defend me a little.
[ This isn't the united front they should be presenting. ]
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Ahaha, I've found that people who like you are the first to betray you at times like this. [NOT IN A DRAMATIC SERIOUS SCARAMOUCHE WAY just in a silly way... thinks about Iris who blamed the cage incident on him just because]
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And Aventurine, I guess.
He glances at Childe briefly. Yeah, you would understand this betrayal. Can't believe Iris got fridged for the yaoi.]
Nehan should just be glad he never had to be a participant. We can always go back to talking about how much you missed him.
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He is unmoved by any of this displeasure, but does, magnanimously, give Aventurine a little headscratch. He's been bullied so much. ]
Not necessary.
[ Embarrassing... for him, not Aventurine. ]
Tell me how you two met instead.
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But he's easily pacified by the head scratch, and just as happy to remain cozied up by Nehan's side as he gives a grin to both Childe and Essek. ]
Yes, do tell. Don't leave out the embarrassing bits either.
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Anyway, he tilts his head slightly. He's not so oblivious that he doesn't understand what they mean, but also--]
"Embarrassing bits"...? [What is this "embarrassment" you speak of... he can't remember what it's like to feel shame...] I don't recall anything like that.
[This is a lie he can think of at least two immediately but he just teased Essek 5 seconds ago so he can be nice for the next 10]
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Don't just think of two immediately, what the fuck?]
It wasn't anything glamorous. He was coming out of the baggage device where the... [Thinks about how he died... Frowns.] Well, he was coming out of the trash, and I was going in.
[Closing my eyes. Me, Anna.]
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He continues to assuage Aventurine with head pats, and does not point out that some people would find a meet-cute in the garbage to be embarrassing. Nehan really doesn't even know the half of it and how mild this is in comparison to everything else. There was wasn't that much banging in Silent Hill? ]
I see. So you met in a dumpster of some kind. [ ... ] It makes for a good story...
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He cracks an even wider grin, eager to steer the conversation to something a little cornier. Enough of the pleasantries. They're here on a double date, and that means digging into each other's relationships, right? ]
Wholly captivating, I would say. [ And he was there! ] If you don't mind me asking, what was it that initially drew your romantic interests to Essek, Childe?
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You didn't feel like mentioning that was the only place we had to explore, those first few days? [TEASING...] That was the second time, anyway. You were learning how to use the phones the first time we spoke.
[He kindly does not mention that Essek blinded himself with the flashlight like an idiot. This is not nearly as impressive and romantic as it seems, though, because the only reason he remembers this is that it's the conversation where Essek said The One Thing that made Childe weird about him in the first place. If not for that he definitely wouldn't remember.
Anyway, he is not expecting to be QUIZZED LIKE THEY'RE TEENS AT A SLEEPOVER so he takes a drink of his tea after that--he doesn't choke in surprise or anything so dramatic, but he does blink, clearly not expecting that. After a moment, he shakes his head in amusement, setting his cup back down.]
And here I thought Manwol and Jae-ha were the nosy ones. [WHEN IN TRUTH IT WAS APPARENTLY THE WHOLEASS GRAVEYARD... he glances at Essek first, as if to gauge how embarrassed he looks, though it doesn't matter all that much in the end because his answer would be somewhat vague regardless.] ...There are certain things about my life that are difficult for most to understand. But it was clear early on that I could trust him with them.
[Does not bother adding "also have you seen him" because he thinks that's obvious]
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