[ Making you sound blameless wasn't my intention. We both have wounds from each other and facets of ourselves that need tempering.
It's on the tip of his tongue, like so many other tactless words from the rest of the evening. They dry up as Kaveh's voice begins to quiver and his eyes shine with tears.
So Alhaitham takes Kaveh's cheek in his hand and carefully thumbs away the suggestion of tears at the edge of his eye. Alhaitham leans forward, brushes his mouth past Kaveh's bangs, and presses an earnest kiss against his forehead. This is all Kaveh needs to say. He doesn't need to qualify it with any self-deprecation, like there's some unknown beast of karma always hanging over Kaveh's head, poised to strike any time he's selfish or finds happiness for once. ]
Good. [ He leans back and finds Kaveh's watery eyes with his. Kaveh said that Alhaitham's eyes are an anchor for him; that's hopefully true now, when he wants to ground Kaveh in this reality where he's loved. ] Because I want to be with you.
[ Kaveh's self-assessment doesn't matter. Kaveh knows how deeply Alhaitham considers every decision he makes, weighing the actions with the outcomes, factoring in unpredictability and all manner of consequences. He wants to be with Kaveh because he is Kaveh. And, again, god forbid Alhaitham ever does something he doesn't want to do.
He doesn't hold Kaveh's hand as tightly as Kaveh grips his, but he does briefly squeeze back in acknowledgment. Alhaitham's eyes soften, tapping into painful memories of the Akademiya—the only few that he'd ever allowed to cut him deeply following his grandmother's death. ]
You can still decide to leave here at any point, if that's what you want. Just know that although I would respect your decision, my preference was always to have you stay with me. I wouldn't have invited you to live here otherwise.
[ He doesn't want Kaveh to go either. An unabashedly selfish part of him wants Kaveh to consider this house his home. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's on the tip of his tongue, like so many other tactless words from the rest of the evening. They dry up as Kaveh's voice begins to quiver and his eyes shine with tears.
So Alhaitham takes Kaveh's cheek in his hand and carefully thumbs away the suggestion of tears at the edge of his eye. Alhaitham leans forward, brushes his mouth past Kaveh's bangs, and presses an earnest kiss against his forehead. This is all Kaveh needs to say. He doesn't need to qualify it with any self-deprecation, like there's some unknown beast of karma always hanging over Kaveh's head, poised to strike any time he's selfish or finds happiness for once. ]
Good. [ He leans back and finds Kaveh's watery eyes with his. Kaveh said that Alhaitham's eyes are an anchor for him; that's hopefully true now, when he wants to ground Kaveh in this reality where he's loved. ] Because I want to be with you.
[ Kaveh's self-assessment doesn't matter. Kaveh knows how deeply Alhaitham considers every decision he makes, weighing the actions with the outcomes, factoring in unpredictability and all manner of consequences. He wants to be with Kaveh because he is Kaveh. And, again, god forbid Alhaitham ever does something he doesn't want to do.
He doesn't hold Kaveh's hand as tightly as Kaveh grips his, but he does briefly squeeze back in acknowledgment. Alhaitham's eyes soften, tapping into painful memories of the Akademiya—the only few that he'd ever allowed to cut him deeply following his grandmother's death. ]
You can still decide to leave here at any point, if that's what you want. Just know that although I would respect your decision, my preference was always to have you stay with me. I wouldn't have invited you to live here otherwise.
[ He doesn't want Kaveh to go either. An unabashedly selfish part of him wants Kaveh to consider this house his home. ]