[Fortunately (for Kaveh), Kaveh's gotten too used to putting on appearances. Even if he was too exhausted to carry his suitcase, he would do anything not to show any more weakness than he already has; so, leftovers in one hand and suitcase in the other, he follows after Alhaitham without struggle. The true extent of his weariness probably won't be obvious for a few days--not until he's settled into Alhaitham's house, unable to maintain his state of constant vigilance any longer.
Until then, though, Kaveh's prickly, anxious. He feels like he's walking through the streets covered in the dust of his broken dam, as if anyone could look at him and know, as Alhaitham did, what a bad state he's in. It's a feeling that wars with his gratitude, and he plans to stay quiet on the way to Alhaitham's home, keeping his mouth shut until he's certain he knows whether sugar or poison rests on his tongue.
Of course, Alhaitham always has a way of jabbing him off-kilter, whether he knows it or not. His pleasant surprise about the door evaporates, and his expression flattens immediately.]
Really? Claiming credit for a service worker's nice gesture? I always thought you better than that, but this really isn't going to work if that's the sort of person you've become.
[He was embarrassed about getting this but now he'll defend croissant waitress with his LIFE]
Very abruptly, Kaveh speeds up, veering around until he can stop in front of Alhaitham and block his path. He stands, one fist clenched at his side, the other with a white-knuckled grip on his suitcase.]
No. Absolutely not. Do you think I'm an idiot? Is that what this is? Because if you just want an excuse to lord your precious intellect over me, then you can forget it. It's one thing for you to be looking for a housemate, and I won't pretend to understand what kind of twisted logic you followed to arrive at the conclusion that I'm a viable option--but I'll accept your decision, and I'm not ungrateful. But I am not some helpless vagabond who needs your pity, nor am I going to be some kind of--plaything for you to manipulate, or whatever it is you're plotting. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I won't have you racking up my debts just to hold it over my head later. If that's what you want, you can find someone else.
[Later, after a hot shower and his first proper sleep in days, he'll look back on this rant and feel overwhelmed with guilt. Later, he'll show remorse in quiet ways--tidying up, making coffee, little things he can do when Alhaitham isn't around to comment on it. But right now, anger and shame burn inside him; the idea of Alhaitham pitying him--or worse, manipulating him, promising him a home just to see how quickly he could drive Kaveh out of it--makes his skin crawl and his ears ring. It's not characteristic of Alhaitham at all, but it's been too long, and too much has happened since they were close, for Kaveh to trust his own memories.]
[ Kaveh wants to make a scene out on the street? Fine. They'll make a scene.
Alhaitham cares much less about public opinion than Kaveh does, so all he does is fold his arms and lean on one hip as he lets Kaveh air himself out in public. When it comes to the two of them, Kaveh's emotions always explode out of him, whether in person or indirectly or on message boards. Alhaitham just didn't expect a croissant to be the catalyst for this particular outburst.
It still stings. Alhaitham's eyes narrow just a little. He's acutely aware of the familiar ache in his chest. It could just be residual hurt from their argument years ago, but it feels ages old. Of course Kaveh thinks him capable of cruelty. He shouldn't have expected otherwise. ]
Calm down. I was never going to ask you to compensate me, nor was I acting out of some sense of self-righteousness. I made myself an imposition to you and you clearly hadn't eaten yet.
I'm only saying this because it's the truth. Whether or not you believe me is ultimately up to you, and you can think whatever you want about my motives. If you're that mistrusting of me, no one is forcing you to accept my offer.
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Until then, though, Kaveh's prickly, anxious. He feels like he's walking through the streets covered in the dust of his broken dam, as if anyone could look at him and know, as Alhaitham did, what a bad state he's in. It's a feeling that wars with his gratitude, and he plans to stay quiet on the way to Alhaitham's home, keeping his mouth shut until he's certain he knows whether sugar or poison rests on his tongue.
Of course, Alhaitham always has a way of jabbing him off-kilter, whether he knows it or not. His pleasant surprise about the door evaporates, and his expression flattens immediately.]
Really? Claiming credit for a service worker's nice gesture? I always thought you better than that, but this really isn't going to work if that's the sort of person you've become.
[He was embarrassed about getting this but now he'll defend croissant waitress with his LIFE]
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What made you believe it was a gesture from the waitress? I put in the order and she delivered it.
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Very abruptly, Kaveh speeds up, veering around until he can stop in front of Alhaitham and block his path. He stands, one fist clenched at his side, the other with a white-knuckled grip on his suitcase.]
No. Absolutely not. Do you think I'm an idiot? Is that what this is? Because if you just want an excuse to lord your precious intellect over me, then you can forget it. It's one thing for you to be looking for a housemate, and I won't pretend to understand what kind of twisted logic you followed to arrive at the conclusion that I'm a viable option--but I'll accept your decision, and I'm not ungrateful. But I am not some helpless vagabond who needs your pity, nor am I going to be some kind of--plaything for you to manipulate, or whatever it is you're plotting. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I won't have you racking up my debts just to hold it over my head later. If that's what you want, you can find someone else.
[Later, after a hot shower and his first proper sleep in days, he'll look back on this rant and feel overwhelmed with guilt. Later, he'll show remorse in quiet ways--tidying up, making coffee, little things he can do when Alhaitham isn't around to comment on it. But right now, anger and shame burn inside him; the idea of Alhaitham pitying him--or worse, manipulating him, promising him a home just to see how quickly he could drive Kaveh out of it--makes his skin crawl and his ears ring. It's not characteristic of Alhaitham at all, but it's been too long, and too much has happened since they were close, for Kaveh to trust his own memories.]
no subject
Alhaitham cares much less about public opinion than Kaveh does, so all he does is fold his arms and lean on one hip as he lets Kaveh air himself out in public. When it comes to the two of them, Kaveh's emotions always explode out of him, whether in person or indirectly or on message boards. Alhaitham just didn't expect a croissant to be the catalyst for this particular outburst.
It still stings. Alhaitham's eyes narrow just a little. He's acutely aware of the familiar ache in his chest. It could just be residual hurt from their argument years ago, but it feels ages old. Of course Kaveh thinks him capable of cruelty. He shouldn't have expected otherwise. ]
Calm down. I was never going to ask you to compensate me, nor was I acting out of some sense of self-righteousness. I made myself an imposition to you and you clearly hadn't eaten yet.
I'm only saying this because it's the truth. Whether or not you believe me is ultimately up to you, and you can think whatever you want about my motives. If you're that mistrusting of me, no one is forcing you to accept my offer.