[(Kaveh voice) No, no, you see, what he's actually saying is that he's plotting my downfall--
No okay. But it really is reflex, by now, to jump to conclusions. Because you enjoy watching me struggle against my self-made problems? ...But, no. Even before the game, he recalls Alhaitham rolling his eyes at that idea, brushing it off with sarcasm as the Traveler watched them with thinly veiled amusement. Because you want me to recover and get out of your hair, once and for all? That's a little better. It would align with what he knows of Alhaitham's wants, and it would even account for the kindness and warmth that Kaveh knows, despite his own complaints, Alhaitham possesses--that Alhaitham has shown him over the past few months, including tonight, right now. Alhaitham has helped him to his feet countless times, and though Kaveh struggles to understand why in some cases, this one seems to make sense.
He hesitates, though, stomach curling. It must be true, for all that Alhaitham is claiming their friendship--or whatever it is they were, before Kaveh started all this--matters to him. Perhaps even because of it. Kaveh's departure would mean financial stability, security, success, just as much as it would mean peace and quiet for Alhaitham. They would likely do much better with space between them, even if they've never been able to truly stay away from each other for long. But even approaching it from the kindest angle, Kaveh can't bring himself to say the words.
His reluctance is multi-faceted, for all that he hates to acknowledge it. He can never stop himself from pushing, from taunting, from daring Alhaitham to get it over with and tell him to leave, that he used up his welcome years ago--but for all that he waits on tenterhooks to hear it, he has no idea what he'd do if Alhaitham actually said it. It's why he always stops short, why he redirects when Alhaitham calls his bluff, saying things like, If you really can't stand me, when are you going to build yourself a mansion?
But beyond that... it just doesn't fit. Not with everything Alhaitham's said tonight. Not with the way Alhaitham's looking at him right now, expression so gentle that Kaveh's heart aches just to witness it. He holds his assumption in his head, but it feels like trying to jam the wrong keystone into an arch. It doesn't fit.
If he steps back, he can see that bridge of theirs. He can see the parapet and the pier, the spandrel wall and the abutment, even the charred remnants of their old foundation. And, he can see the outline of that final empty space, a taunting silhouette. None of the voussoirs in his hands feel right.
There are others. Countless others scattered between them, waiting to be picked up. To be tested, as Alhaitham put it--
A rational and efficient mind can still misinterpret and misunderstand the ways of the heart. Can you explain to me what love looks like? It comes in many different forms, doesn't it?
--but he cannot bring himself to reach for them. He doesn't dare.]
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1/2
No okay. But it really is reflex, by now, to jump to conclusions. Because you enjoy watching me struggle against my self-made problems? ...But, no. Even before the game, he recalls Alhaitham rolling his eyes at that idea, brushing it off with sarcasm as the Traveler watched them with thinly veiled amusement. Because you want me to recover and get out of your hair, once and for all? That's a little better. It would align with what he knows of Alhaitham's wants, and it would even account for the kindness and warmth that Kaveh knows, despite his own complaints, Alhaitham possesses--that Alhaitham has shown him over the past few months, including tonight, right now. Alhaitham has helped him to his feet countless times, and though Kaveh struggles to understand why in some cases, this one seems to make sense.
He hesitates, though, stomach curling. It must be true, for all that Alhaitham is claiming their friendship--or whatever it is they were, before Kaveh started all this--matters to him. Perhaps even because of it. Kaveh's departure would mean financial stability, security, success, just as much as it would mean peace and quiet for Alhaitham. They would likely do much better with space between them, even if they've never been able to truly stay away from each other for long. But even approaching it from the kindest angle, Kaveh can't bring himself to say the words.
His reluctance is multi-faceted, for all that he hates to acknowledge it. He can never stop himself from pushing, from taunting, from daring Alhaitham to get it over with and tell him to leave, that he used up his welcome years ago--but for all that he waits on tenterhooks to hear it, he has no idea what he'd do if Alhaitham actually said it. It's why he always stops short, why he redirects when Alhaitham calls his bluff, saying things like, If you really can't stand me, when are you going to build yourself a mansion?
But beyond that... it just doesn't fit. Not with everything Alhaitham's said tonight. Not with the way Alhaitham's looking at him right now, expression so gentle that Kaveh's heart aches just to witness it. He holds his assumption in his head, but it feels like trying to jam the wrong keystone into an arch. It doesn't fit.
If he steps back, he can see that bridge of theirs. He can see the parapet and the pier, the spandrel wall and the abutment, even the charred remnants of their old foundation. And, he can see the outline of that final empty space, a taunting silhouette. None of the voussoirs in his hands feel right.
There are others. Countless others scattered between them, waiting to be picked up. To be tested, as Alhaitham put it--
A rational and efficient mind can still misinterpret and misunderstand the ways of the heart. Can you explain to me what love looks like? It comes in many different forms, doesn't it?
--but he cannot bring himself to reach for them. He doesn't dare.]