I do not expect you to reveal all of yourself to me, Ajax. I only worry that you may not seek out assistance when needed, even from those who care for you.
[Ah, but honesty--that's the sticking point, isn't it?
Childe is fearless, but he's not stupidly reckless. He doesn't charge into unknown danger, he doesn't stubbornly reject medical treatment for no reason. He has his pride, sure, and the most alive he ever feels is when he's closest to death--but he isn't as foolish as most of his enemies (and colleagues) assume.
The problem is: he cares. And when he cares, he does stupid things. He tries too hard to be a better version of himself. He won't change who he is, and he knows Zhongli doesn't want him to--but "who he is" inevitably worries and exasperates the people he loves, and he takes no joy in that.
Of course he hides or downplays some things--who wouldn't, to protect a dream?
There's a delay before he replies, but eventually:]
I know. I trust you. [He knows that Zhongli truly cares, just as he knows that Zhongli isn't asking him to change.] I'll pick up one of those Kameras next time I see them, how's that? That way you can see I'm fine for yourself.
[ i do not expect you to reveal all of yourself to me, he had said, and he certainly meant it. if he had taken issue with childe's lifestyle, this surely would have come up sooner. if childe chooses to contact him for any reason, whether to house him after a particularly grueling battle or simply for a chat, zhongli will always make himself available.
the two of them already reckoned with the risks. there would be a day when the letters would cease, and zhongli may never have an answer for why—only the knowledge that childe would have reached for him if he could, if only to say goodbye. ]
Thank you. When next you return to Liyue, perhaps you will indulge me with a photograph of us both.
[ his time with childe is inlaid in the great monument of his memory, carved and lined in lacquered gold. there has never been another being like him in zhongli's impossibly long life.
still, a tangible memento of him would be nice to have. ]
[A dangerous thing to say, but, well. It's true enough. And it's not like anyone can use his affection for Zhongli against him--Zhongli could crush anyone who'd try in a heartbeat.
Besides, he's happy to do it. He'll probably start sending photos along with all of his letters once he gets in the habit of it, honestly. He's sentimental like that.]
[ zhongli will invent accordion wallets just for those (no)(maybe)
they already send small treasures to each other with their letters: dried flowers and plants, pristine feathers, coins, the like. zhongli keeps these in their own antique coffer—red with an intricately carved black lid and base, lined with velvet, polished to a shine, locked with a small golden key that he keeps with him always. he commissioned its refurbishment himself (though he wasn't the one who ultimately paid for it). childe's photos would certainly fit inside. ]
Be careful not to offer what you cannot afford to lose.
[Anything works for me!! We can keep going unless you wanna cut back on threads 👍
Anyway, it's tempting to quip back--something like this doesn't look like losing to me, actually--but he doesn't want to derail them. That would be antithetical to the cause. What cause? Hmm, a mystery.
There's another delay as he considers his options (where even is he right now. Also a mystery even to me) but since they're only talking, he can be as shameless as he wants, so.]
[Ooh, a challenge. Surprising no one, he's immediately on board.]
Terms accepted.
[He knows how much you love your contract talk, Zhongli, even if this isn't actually one. Anyway he'll give it a minute or two to make sure Zhongli is... ready? Settled? Done with whatever he was potentially doing in case he hadn't anticipated this conversation veering off in this direction, although he probably did because he started it, which is actually kind of--
Right, focus. RING RING RING RING RING dodoco phone]
We're in mutual agreement then. Please stay exactly where you are until our conversation ends. I'll wait for your call.
[ he does indeed!
childe is right (or at least he was, maybe). zhongli wouldn't have instigated anything like this if he wasn't already prepared. there is an office for him at the wangsheng funeral parlor, which is currently empty; hu tao is currently out at wuwang hill, preparing for a burial.
zhongli picks up soon after it rings. he leans back against his chair and holds the receiver near his lips. he listens for any sort of background noise, the steady sound of breathing—anything to tell him that someone is on the other line.
how did it turn from sleeping in lotus ponds to deep and serious façades to this? ]
Childe.
[ his voice is a murmur, smooth and lilting. childe gave him a weapon before, when he said he liked his voice. ]
[It turned out this way because Childe has never told a loved one "no" in his life and he doesn't plan to start now. "pixi he started it" don't worry about that part
As for "exactly where he is"--well, that's impossible to tell from the call alone. It seems quiet enough, though there is definitely some form of distant background noise. Maybe he's tucked into a far, private corner of some establishment, or maybe he's just at home near an open window to create the illusion of risk. Maybe Zhongli will never know.
Anyway, Zhongli forbade him from speaking, but not from making noise in general--so he hums in assent, though it's decently quiet. Toeing the line of breaking the rules without pushing hard enough to get in trouble quite yet... as expected, given his, y'know. Everything.]
[ it's very like him, and it's innocuous enough that zhongli can let it slide.
he looks at the corner of his desk, unseeing as he gathers his thoughts. he idly rubs the corner of a piece of paper between his fingers. he's smiling, eyes half-lidded. ]
There is a vendor who will occasionally make her rounds at Bubu Pharmacy. Her mixtures are a rare find made by her own hands. She offers Baizhu a small commission in exchange for selling her wares under the table.
One in particular is very interesting. She's created a topical mixed with powdered flaming flower stamens and mist flower corollas. The makeup of the substance is such that the mixture cools and warms in succession, and the effects last for quite a long time. The fluid itself is thick, and it's surprisingly mild enough to be edible. The flavor is sweet. It was made for aches and pains, but according to Baizhu, it's particularly popular among couples.
[ he folds and creases the edge of the paper. ]
Needless to say, I've procured a vial of my own. I sampled it last night, thinking of you. I can certainly see the appeal.
[Truthfully, Zhongli could've chosen to talk about anything. He does like Zhongli's voice--it's always so warm and decadent, no matter what it is he's actually saying. The insinuations in Zhongli's messages were clear as day, but if Zhongli had decided to tease him and start rambling about something innocuous, he would've been happy to listen anyway.
But he's certainly not complaining. Childe's always had a vivid imagination, and immediately, his mind fills with images and possibilities. Zhongli alone in his bed, testing his new purchase on his wrists, his neck, his thighs--intimate and sensitive, but carefully prudent all the same. Zhongli slicking his palm with it and taking himself in hand, shivering under its effects. Zhongli with his fingers in his mouth, eyes closed, lost to fantasy.
He hadn't known Zhongli would enjoy something like that. Now that he does, he's already planning to get his hands on as many variations of it as possible. Being rich has its advantages.
True to his word, he stays quiet. The only sign that he's listening is the deep, steadying breath he takes. But really, his silence is more of a sign of his rapt attention than any rule-breaking would've been.]
[ zhongli takes a brief pause, listening. once he hears that long breath, he continues again. good. ]
This woman is clever. She sells small vials, meant for one or two uses, and then a larger bottle.
[ childe may hear as zhongli carefully opens the small satchel laid on his desk. hu tao is gone. his doors are locked. he sets the bottle on his desk. ]
I decided to buy the bottle, if it interests you. I have it with me now, in fact.
[ he gets up to pull the shades over his windows. ]
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is empty for the day, with the exception of myself. Perhaps you might like to hear a demonstration.
[ he's smiling again—snidely now. he settles slowly back into his chair, and tucks the phone between his ear and a raised shoulder. as he speaks, he picks the gloves off his fingers and peels them away from the heel of his hands. ]
I'm glad you're still there. I hope you're all right.
[ it's a little facetious. childe does not sound all right, but not in a bad way. at least not to zhongli.
hands bared, he reaches to hold his phone as he slowly undoes the front clasps of his coat. his head is still tipped to the phone at his shoulder, gold eyes slanted towards the side of the room. he can see childe in his mind's eye—the backdrop a vague and murmuring blur, him sitting with the phone to his cheek, red-faced and biting his lip.
he takes a deep, satisfied breath that bleeds into his first few words. ]
I wonder how long you'll last, hearing me this way and knowing you can do nothing? You do enjoy being challenged.
[ childe will hear shifting clothes, coats drawn away from shoulders and laid over the back of his chair. ]
Perhaps you'll make me wait until I come without you.
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TFLN
Well, of course. But he thinks his reasons for that are obvious, so he doesn't comment on it.]
Are you worried I put one on with you?
no subject
I only worry that you may not seek out assistance when needed, even from those who care for you.
[ specifically from zhongli. ]
no subject
See? Fussy
[But it's (affectionate), even if he doesn't specify. And if Zhongli's being sincere then he will be too.]
I don't need it as much as you might think, xiansheng. But I don't mind it from you. You can check in on me whenever you'd like.
no subject
Thank you. That alone puts me more at ease.
[ to be honest. he would have done that anyway. but it's always nice to have permission and to be acknowledged. ]
I can only hope that when I ask, you will answer me honestly.
I wish for you to feel safe with me.
no subject
Childe is fearless, but he's not stupidly reckless. He doesn't charge into unknown danger, he doesn't stubbornly reject medical treatment for no reason. He has his pride, sure, and the most alive he ever feels is when he's closest to death--but he isn't as foolish as most of his enemies (and colleagues) assume.
The problem is: he cares. And when he cares, he does stupid things. He tries too hard to be a better version of himself. He won't change who he is, and he knows Zhongli doesn't want him to--but "who he is" inevitably worries and exasperates the people he loves, and he takes no joy in that.
Of course he hides or downplays some things--who wouldn't, to protect a dream?
There's a delay before he replies, but eventually:]
I know. I trust you. [He knows that Zhongli truly cares, just as he knows that Zhongli isn't asking him to change.] I'll pick up one of those Kameras next time I see them, how's that? That way you can see I'm fine for yourself.
no subject
the two of them already reckoned with the risks. there would be a day when the letters would cease, and zhongli may never have an answer for why—only the knowledge that childe would have reached for him if he could, if only to say goodbye. ]
Thank you.
When next you return to Liyue, perhaps you will indulge me with a photograph of us both.
[ his time with childe is inlaid in the great monument of his memory, carved and lined in lacquered gold. there has never been another being like him in zhongli's impossibly long life.
still, a tangible memento of him would be nice to have. ]
no subject
[A dangerous thing to say, but, well. It's true enough. And it's not like anyone can use his affection for Zhongli against him--Zhongli could crush anyone who'd try in a heartbeat.
Besides, he's happy to do it. He'll probably start sending photos along with all of his letters once he gets in the habit of it, honestly. He's sentimental like that.]
no subject
they already send small treasures to each other with their letters: dried flowers and plants, pristine feathers, coins, the like. zhongli keeps these in their own antique coffer—red with an intricately carved black lid and base, lined with velvet, polished to a shine, locked with a small golden key that he keeps with him always. he commissioned its refurbishment himself (though he wasn't the one who ultimately paid for it). childe's photos would certainly fit inside. ]
Be careful not to offer what you cannot afford to lose.
no subject
Oh? What are planning to ask for, hm?
[we're back to flirting]
no subject
That would depend on your location.
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anyway jk jk of course he is immediately playing along]
What are my options?
no subject
In or on your way to Liyue, in another public location, or somewhere private.
[ he won't even try to be sly about it. lmk if you wanna stop or ftb if this goes any further ]
no subject
Anyway, it's tempting to quip back--something like this doesn't look like losing to me, actually--but he doesn't want to derail them. That would be antithetical to the cause. What cause? Hmm, a mystery.
There's another delay as he considers his options (where even is he right now. Also a mystery even to me) but since they're only talking, he can be as shameless as he wants, so.]
And if I said I was somewhere public?
no subject
You do not speak. Only listen.
no subject
Terms accepted.
[He knows how much you love your contract talk, Zhongli, even if this isn't actually one. Anyway he'll give it a minute or two to make sure Zhongli is... ready? Settled? Done with whatever he was potentially doing in case he hadn't anticipated this conversation veering off in this direction, although he probably did because he started it, which is actually kind of--
Right, focus. RING RING RING RING RING dodoco phone]
no subject
Please stay exactly where you are until our conversation ends.
I'll wait for your call.
[ he does indeed!
childe is right (or at least he was, maybe). zhongli wouldn't have instigated anything like this if he wasn't already prepared. there is an office for him at the wangsheng funeral parlor, which is currently empty; hu tao is currently out at wuwang hill, preparing for a burial.
zhongli picks up soon after it rings. he leans back against his chair and holds the receiver near his lips. he listens for any sort of background noise, the steady sound of breathing—anything to tell him that someone is on the other line.
how did it turn from sleeping in lotus ponds to deep and serious façades to this? ]
Childe.
[ his voice is a murmur, smooth and lilting. childe gave him a weapon before, when he said he liked his voice. ]
I assume that you can hear me.
no subject
As for "exactly where he is"--well, that's impossible to tell from the call alone. It seems quiet enough, though there is definitely some form of distant background noise. Maybe he's tucked into a far, private corner of some establishment, or maybe he's just at home near an open window to create the illusion of risk. Maybe Zhongli will never know.
Anyway, Zhongli forbade him from speaking, but not from making noise in general--so he hums in assent, though it's decently quiet. Toeing the line of breaking the rules without pushing hard enough to get in trouble quite yet... as expected, given his, y'know. Everything.]
no subject
he looks at the corner of his desk, unseeing as he gathers his thoughts. he idly rubs the corner of a piece of paper between his fingers. he's smiling, eyes half-lidded. ]
There is a vendor who will occasionally make her rounds at Bubu Pharmacy. Her mixtures are a rare find made by her own hands. She offers Baizhu a small commission in exchange for selling her wares under the table.
One in particular is very interesting. She's created a topical mixed with powdered flaming flower stamens and mist flower corollas. The makeup of the substance is such that the mixture cools and warms in succession, and the effects last for quite a long time. The fluid itself is thick, and it's surprisingly mild enough to be edible. The flavor is sweet. It was made for aches and pains, but according to Baizhu, it's particularly popular among couples.
[ he folds and creases the edge of the paper. ]
Needless to say, I've procured a vial of my own. I sampled it last night, thinking of you. I can certainly see the appeal.
no subject
But he's certainly not complaining. Childe's always had a vivid imagination, and immediately, his mind fills with images and possibilities. Zhongli alone in his bed, testing his new purchase on his wrists, his neck, his thighs--intimate and sensitive, but carefully prudent all the same. Zhongli slicking his palm with it and taking himself in hand, shivering under its effects. Zhongli with his fingers in his mouth, eyes closed, lost to fantasy.
He hadn't known Zhongli would enjoy something like that. Now that he does, he's already planning to get his hands on as many variations of it as possible. Being rich has its advantages.
True to his word, he stays quiet. The only sign that he's listening is the deep, steadying breath he takes. But really, his silence is more of a sign of his rapt attention than any rule-breaking would've been.]
no subject
This woman is clever. She sells small vials, meant for one or two uses, and then a larger bottle.
[ childe may hear as zhongli carefully opens the small satchel laid on his desk. hu tao is gone. his doors are locked. he sets the bottle on his desk. ]
I decided to buy the bottle, if it interests you. I have it with me now, in fact.
[ he gets up to pull the shades over his windows. ]
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is empty for the day, with the exception of myself. Perhaps you might like to hear a demonstration.
[ :) ]
1/2
this may or may not be the reaction Zhongli's looking for
but there's a loud clattering noise that means that Childe definitely dropped his phone on the floor]
2/2
Ahem. He's fine. Continue.]
1/2
it takes a second, but it's not hard to guess what just happened. especially when he hears childe's throat being cleared. ]
2/2
I'm glad you're still there. I hope you're all right.
[ it's a little facetious. childe does not sound all right, but not in a bad way. at least not to zhongli.
hands bared, he reaches to hold his phone as he slowly undoes the front clasps of his coat. his head is still tipped to the phone at his shoulder, gold eyes slanted towards the side of the room. he can see childe in his mind's eye—the backdrop a vague and murmuring blur, him sitting with the phone to his cheek, red-faced and biting his lip.
he takes a deep, satisfied breath that bleeds into his first few words. ]
I wonder how long you'll last, hearing me this way and knowing you can do nothing? You do enjoy being challenged.
[ childe will hear shifting clothes, coats drawn away from shoulders and laid over the back of his chair. ]
Perhaps you'll make me wait until I come without you.
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