[He lets Eunhyuk pull the glass out of his hand, his grip somehow loose and stiff at the same time. He tenses slightly when Eunhyuk reaches for him, but he doesn't flinch back or try to push him away. Instead, he stays very still--only once Eunhyuk's draped the towel over him does he finally lose a tiny bit of tension, slumping over to lean against Eunhyuk's chest.
I'm sorry is on the tip of his tongue again, this time for hiding it--or, more accurately, for getting caught. He's tried to be more honest since they started this, but that's so much easier when it comes to things like talking about his love, or even sharing stories of his past. But he can't shake off the part of himself that never wants his loved ones to worry, the part that's so convinced showing signs of weakness is an unforgivable misstep.
And it's stupid, he knows. Eunhyuk already knows he's ill, so it's not like an episode like this would've come as a shock. They're both well aware that getting cured is an unsteady process. And most importantly, Luke has full faith in Scien's ability to figure out what Aaron couldn't. He's still anxious about the guillotine blade resting against his neck, but this time he's got failsafe after failsafe, and the promise of a godlike genius to rely on. He's no longer fixated on the certainty of his death the way he used to be.
But even so--this is a type of vulnerability Luke still hates to show. And he can't help but take it as a failure.
He knows Eunhyuk doesn't want to hear more apologies. But he doesn't want to try and struggle through an explanation of his thoughts: that he did have to keep it from him, actually, because he doesn't know how to do anything else, and even though he's trying to be more open, he loves Eunhyuk too much to subject him to this kind of worry,
He doesn't have the energy to say all of that, especially when his body still aches from the fading pain. So instead, he keeps his voice soft, pushing down the bitterness he feels.]
no subject
I'm sorry is on the tip of his tongue again, this time for hiding it--or, more accurately, for getting caught. He's tried to be more honest since they started this, but that's so much easier when it comes to things like talking about his love, or even sharing stories of his past. But he can't shake off the part of himself that never wants his loved ones to worry, the part that's so convinced showing signs of weakness is an unforgivable misstep.
And it's stupid, he knows. Eunhyuk already knows he's ill, so it's not like an episode like this would've come as a shock. They're both well aware that getting cured is an unsteady process. And most importantly, Luke has full faith in Scien's ability to figure out what Aaron couldn't. He's still anxious about the guillotine blade resting against his neck, but this time he's got failsafe after failsafe, and the promise of a godlike genius to rely on. He's no longer fixated on the certainty of his death the way he used to be.
But even so--this is a type of vulnerability Luke still hates to show. And he can't help but take it as a failure.
He knows Eunhyuk doesn't want to hear more apologies. But he doesn't want to try and struggle through an explanation of his thoughts: that he did have to keep it from him, actually, because he doesn't know how to do anything else, and even though he's trying to be more open, he loves Eunhyuk too much to subject him to this kind of worry,
He doesn't have the energy to say all of that, especially when his body still aches from the fading pain. So instead, he keeps his voice soft, pushing down the bitterness he feels.]
I didn't want you to worry.